(Closed) Walking down the aisle family dilemma

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 2
4940 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Ellbee:   Do what feels right to you.  I think it is wonderful that you and your grandfather, who have been through so much side by side, will be walking down the aisle.  That sounds wonderful.

Don’t let anyone guilt trip you into anything.  

Post # 3
1634 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Your decision sounds reasonable. There’s also the daddy-daughter dance that you can have your dad do. When the officiant askes who gives you away you could have your parents stand too and along with your grandpa say they give you away.

Post # 4
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Ellbee:  Go with what feels right for you. My Dad was similar and I’ve asked my Mom to walk me down the aisle because of the role she played in my life. I’m considering asking my Dad to stand with us when we get to the end and answer woth my Mom when the pastor asks who’s giving me away (i.e. “We do.”) but I’m Not sure yet. I think your reasoning sounds appropriate and your Dad will just need to be supportive of it/you. Walking with your gramps sounds super sweet ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 5
266 posts
Helper bee

It’s a sad situation for you and your dad to be in.  I don’t know anything about the divorce and the reasons etc… but what I do know is that divorce tends to be very difficult of men, because in most cases they are the ones that leave the family home and they become instant weekend parents.  I know many fathers in that situation who are completley devestated that they are not able to see their children on a regular basis.

And now your dad will also miss the opportunity to walk his only daughter down the isle.  I do think this is a sad situation especially since you say you love your father, it is obviously a difficult situation for you to be in as well as your dad.  If I was in your situation I would ask both my father and grandfather to walk me down the isle.  But that’s just me, obviously you have to go with what you want but I do feel terrible for your dad.

Post # 6
169 posts
Blushing bee

I think you are making the right decision. It sounds like a guilt trip to me too. It might your dad’s “only chance” but (hopefully) this is your Only Wedding. This day is yours and your future spouse’s, not your dad’s. 

Post # 8
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014


Ellbee:  I was in the same boat as you! I wanted to my uncle [Papa Mike] to walk me down but, unfortunately he passed away. My biological father has always been in and out of jail. I’m his only daughter however; he never raised me. I’m having my aunt walk me down because I asked her but, I’m also having my biological father walk me down too. One on each side of me. He wasn’t really there for me and I’m only letting him because he helped create me lol if it wasn’t for him or my bio-mom, I wouldn’t be around. He knows how I feel about him and because of it, he’s trying to be there.

Post # 9
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Ellbee:  do what feels right to you but just was a warning, be ready for this to possibly change your relationship with him. Is there a way you’d like both of them to walk you?

My cousin was the first grandchild to get married on my moms side and my blood uncle was her father…. she chose to have her mom walk her (her stepdad had passed away and if he was alive she would have wanted him) and it basically tore our family apart….all my aunts/uncles took it as this huge insult and me, my other cousin were BM’s…. we…and my mother were the only family who attended her wedding…and the kicker is she lives in the U.S and her Darling Husband is from ireland and she planned her wedding for “back home” because it was always her dream….she got married in a church 1 block from her fathers house. It turned really bad and only now after 5 years and shes having children are people coming around to not being mad at her anymore. Its tragic because its probably the only wedding my grandmother will be alive to have seen (I got married on the other side of the country and no one else is close).

If your close to your grandpa theres nothing wrong with your choice, but seriously think about the future relationship you hope to have with your dad…. and if you’ll regret not having him help walk you.


Post # 10
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I don’t have any advice really, just wanted to say that I’m in a similar situation with my dad and it’s really hard to know what to do. It sounds like your gramps would appreciate the moment far more than your dad if you guys are close, especially with his recent loss. Don’t be guilted into doing something that isn’t right with you and good luck ๐Ÿ™‚ 

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