(Closed) walking down the aisle

posted 9 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

The minister doesn’t have to say "Who gives…".  In fact that won’t even be in our ceremony.

As for walking down the aisle, how about you walk by yourself or even have you and Fiance walk down the aisle together?  

Post # 4
Member
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Sending you hugs, I’m sorry your mom isn’t there for your day. If your relationship is not that good with your dad, he has no business "giving" you away just because it’s what is normally done. You don’t HAVE to be given away.  

I watched an episode of House and Cameron walked herself down the aisle. And I remember noting how sweet she looked just sauntering down there towards Chase. So you could walk all by yourself, too. Or, you could walk with your fiance, too. I would say that’s completely appropriate in your situation. I think your doggy would be cute, too. I’d be worried about the logistics of handing off his leash, etc.

Your minister does not have to ask who gives you away. You can ask that he skip that and explain why, and place a nice picture of your mom in her would-be chair to honor her, or simply a bouquet of flowers if you dont want a picture there. You can carry a picture of her, also, or simply have a charm with her picture in it tied aroudn your bouquet.

Post # 5
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I attended my friends’ wedding last month and the bride walked herself halfway down the aisle, and then her fiancee walked up and met her and they walked the rest of the way together. I thought it was very sweet. I am having a similar issue deciding whom to have walk me down the aisle. My father won’t be attending because he does not support my marriae, and I doubt my mother will be there either, because she follows his suit all of the time. I have an older cousin (who is a straight alcoholic) who has offered to walk me down, but I worry that he will show up with booze permeating out of his pores and I would rather avoid that situation. I thought about asking my little brother or a close friend. Have you any close friends that could stand in? I don’t think it has to be a man per se, but someone who genuinely loves and cares about you. But if you are satisfying your grandmother’s wishes, would a male friend suffice?

Post # 6
Member
36 posts
Newbee

I have never met my dad..ever and have no desire to.  So when I am going to be walked down the "beach/aisle" I am going to have my BF’s dad do it.  My Boyfriend or Best Friend side of the family has only 2 boys so my BF’s dad will never have a chance to walk "his little girl down the aisle" so I’m the closest thing they got!  I figure I would have BF’s dad walk his mom down first, circle back up the beach to me, have BF’s brother walk my mom down the "beach/aisle", drop her off at her seat and then go stand next to my Boyfriend or Best Friend and then BFs dad & me walk down.

Everyone says that now is the time to find my dad for my wedding, but why? He was never in my life, hes not even on the birth certificate.  I have never asked about him and no one has ever given me any information.  I had lived in the same house for 27 years plus my family had been living there since the 60’s.  If he wanted to find me…he knew where I was.  We come from a small town where everyone knows everyone.  If you sneezed, your neighbor from down the street calls to say "bless you".

So equinegirl…I would say "whatever" to who is giving your a hard time about who you are going to walk down the aisle.  If you want your dog, then let it be your dog.  Obviously you like your dog better than your dad.  You should only have people at your wedding that YOU want.  Not because someone else is going to think its a bad idea.  Besides it will add a bit of orginiality to your ceremony.  I personally think its a cute idea, although you might be upstaged by a cute doggie πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
36 posts
Newbee

OH and if you do have your dog walk with you, please make sure that you post pictures πŸ™‚

Post # 8
Member
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I think it’s perfectly acceptable to walk down the aisle yourself or have your fiance meet you halfway (how sweet) rather than having a man walk you down out of obligation, etc.  Do what makes you feel the most comfortable.  It’s YOUR wedding, not your grandmother’s.  I’m sure in the end she’ll think it was a LOVELY ceremony.

Also, like others said you do not have to do the "who gives this woman…" it’s not a requirement.  I’m having my dad walk me down just because I didn’t let him before – I eloped – but I’m totally skipping the "who gives this woman" and the daughter/father dance.

Post # 9
Member
47 posts
Newbee

I also say walk alone. You don’t NEED anyone with you, and you should feel comfortable when you walk down the aisle so if it’s not going to feel right with anyone in particular, do it solo πŸ™‚ I think the idea of your fiance meeting you halfway is cute! Walking with your dog would be cute too…but I also would be nervous about logistics and think I would be more relaxed by myself. 

Post # 11
Member
1045 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2008

I’m so sorry to hear about your mom– I know this must be rough for you.  πŸ™  I say definitely walk down the aisle proudly by yourself, or even have you and your Fiance walk down together.  Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I am walking myself down the aisle.

My mom died 15 years ago, this month, same month, different day as I will marry, so I do understand some of the sadness you carry. IF I were to have anyone, I’d have wanted both parents to do the walk. BUt that is not the case. So,  I will walk myself and to make it even better so feelings aren’t hurt, we are having a destination wedding, no one is invited.

I am the first, but not the oldest, of my father’s children to marry.

I suggest yourself, you are a srong and beautiful woman that has gotten yourself this far in life.

Post # 13
Member
368 posts
Helper bee

My friend got married and her dad died, and she had her brother walk her down the aisle. He is younger, but it was really sweet. I’ve also seen the woman walk herself down thie aisle which I think is perfectly acceptable – I agree with the other bees, do what feels best (not what you think you "should" have to do) – best of luck, you are going to be a beautiful bride!! πŸ™‚

Post # 14
Member
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I understand your dilemma – both of my parents are deceased as well as my daughter. No, you do NOT have to have someone escort you down the aisle and you DEFINITELY do not need to be given away. That being said, I am having a dear family friend escorting me down the aisle – mainly to keep me from tripping in unacustommed high heels. LOL! This gentleman was my professor, my superivisor (I was his lab assistant), my mentor and friend – it was because of him that I am a college professor – so to me the choice to have him as an escort is a wise one.

Post # 15
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

You seem to be a very strong and independent woman, so why not walk down alone. There is no rule that you have to be "given away". I’m sure if you were to talk to your officiant you could completely skip the whole "who gives this woman" part.

Post # 16
Member
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I’m sorry you’re being given such a hard time about this! =( Your grandma doesn’t sound especially understanding. *HUGS* If you do want someone to walk you down the aisle really really bad, maybe ask a sibling or a really close friend?

And, of course, it’s PERFECTLY FINE to walk down the aisle alone. =) I LOVE the idea of you walking down with your dog — or even your dog going down just ahead of you (like a flower girl)!

Congratulations, and keep your chin up! 

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