Post # 1
so I want my mom to walk me down the aisle. She kind of was like my my mother and father. My mom left my father for many many reasons when I was born. I’m 25 now. However, I still love my father even though I feel he was distant growing up. We’ve grown closer as I got older. I don’t resent him. No he wasn’t there for me as much financially and I saw him some weekends, but he’s never truly wronged me and he’s been trying to be there for me more now. So I also want him to walk me down the aisle. My dad has no problem with it being a duo, but my mom refuses to walk with my father down the aisle. She makes it seem like it’s the two of them walking down and fails to see that it’s not about them, it’s about me and both of them giving me away. Their relationship, any wrong doings my dad did to her is not about me and giving me away.
Im not sure what to do. I’d rather have my mom walk me down, but don’t want to hurt my father either. I hate having to choose even though my mom said she doesn’t mind not walking me down and letting my father do it, but that’s just not what I want. That doesn’t feel right to me. I’m almost at the point of having nobody give me away. I can easily give myself away and that seems like the best option even if it hurts all parties. We can at least all share that hurt though.
Post # 2
Can one walk you halfway and the other walk you the rest of the way?
Post # 3
I haven’t really given that a thought. I’m not sure I’m in love with the idea of it and I don’t really see the logistics of it. Do I leave whoever is walking me down first stranded in the middle of the aisle or they just take their seat where we stop or they walk behind me the rest of the way. Also the person who is second would just stand in the middle of aisle waiting for me which seems odd and I’d rather just have eyes on my fiancé the whole time because I know I’ll be nervous with everyone watching me. It’s almost like I’d be given away twice this way to.
Im kind of all over the place as you can see. I’m sorry for that.
But my other thought was have one stand at the end of the aisle and one walk me down. Then the person standing waiting fixes my veil and passes me on to my fiancé. I just wish it wouldn’t be that hard.
Last option is do what my friend did and do a small ceremony type thing with both the mother’s. Like giving them roses or having them come up to light candles.
Id still be disappointed with all these ways though, but I guess compromise doesn’t leave anyone feeling 100%.
Post # 4
I can totally understand because I feel the same as you towards my parents. I haven’t told either of them my plan yet, but I would like both of them to walk me down the aisle. I don’t want to take that away from my dad, but I feel like I should also ask my mom because she primarily raised me. If my mom had an issue with this (which she wouldn’t because they are very civil), I’d probably tell her that she’s being petty and that it’ll just be my dad. I don’t know why adults refuse to be adults for a 2 minute walk
Post # 5
I don’t really talk to my dad much. My mom has always been there trying her hardest. I’m having my mom walk me down the isle. My fiance asked her for my hand in marriage and he asked her if she could walk me down the isle cause I told him that’s what I wanted. She was thrilled when he asked and was so happy. I don’t personally care how my dad feels. (Long bad history) Just think of the reaction you can personally cope with from your parents. I’m sure you’ll choose whatever is best for you.
Post # 6
I’m sorry you’re going through this anxiety to. I hope it works out for you and they remain civil to walk you down the aisle together. I really hope that for you.
My parents are very civil. I know of their drama which yea my father wronged my mother very much while pregnant with me, but my mom didn’t talk bad about my dad, let me formulate my own opinions about him and always invited him to important events/parties that he always showed up for. So when I asked her to walk me down the aisle with my dad, it was a complete shock that she cried and told me not to ask her that again. Asked me to do a first dance with my abusive step father since he was “more in my life than my dad.” Meanwhile she knows I hate his guts so this hurt me more, yet I still feel guilty not having her walk me down. She’s said I don’t have to choose between them and she’s fine with just my dad walking me down, but it really hurts me not to have her walk me down to. Even if I make concessions and do something else to include them both in the ceremony, I’ll still be hurt on a day that means a lot to me and maybe I shouldn’t feel that hurt, especially after her suggesting I do anything with my step dad who if I didn’t have to invite to my wedding, I wouldn’t, but for now I do feel hurt.