(Closed) Walking myself down the aisle

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I walked myself down the aisle, my dad was not invited, my grandfather passed away…i am 36 and decided to just enjoy the moment and once i saw my groom i barely saw anyone else as I walked up the aisle.  My whole wedding was magical.

Post # 3
Member
3527 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

I want to walk myself down the isle. My dad is in my life but we aren’t emotionally close and my Fiance is not his biggest fan…. so I think having my dad walk me is weird. Like if I was younger and still living at home or just recently moved out maybe, but at the time of wedding I will be 5 years moved out and he did’t live with me since I was 16, and I’ll be 32 at time of wedding. And I think my Fiance would enjoy seeing me walk down the aisle by myself instead of having dad in the middle of our special moment. Ugh. So I really want to walk by myself…my mom thinks otherwise and gets offended every time I mention it. Her and dad have been divorced for 15 years but she thinks if the bride has a father he HAS to walk her down the aisle and give her away. It pisses me off so much. >:( i’ll be 32 years old, living with my man 5 years, and without my dad almost 2 decades and he HAS to give me away… seriously?!?!

Post # 4
Member
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I’ve seriously considered walking myself down the isle. I was one step away from the final decision, but changed my mind the last minute.  (Long story) so my father walked me.  But I  wouldn’t mind waking myself anyways.  

Post # 5
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I’ve had some nasty moments with my family about opinion/life views. I’m also seriously considering walking myself down the aisle – partially because family relationships are still healing and partially because I don’t like any of the “bride-is-property-to-be-given-away/her-virginity-is-guarded-by-her-father” traditions. But, I’m mulling over something that I’ll share with you —

Do you ever foresee having a relationship with your family again? Do you intend on having kids, and would you consider allowing them to have a relationship with your family? If so, please deeply consider the potential offense. This isn’t not inviting them to a Christmas party or one’s birthday. Marriage is for life, and every time your family sees you with your husband, or sees your kids, or sees photos, they’re going to be constantly reminded that they weren’t wanted for one of the most important, life-changing, happiness-filled moments of your life. They were actively and pointedly NOT WANTED. That’s going to cause a deep wound that may not ever be able to be overcome.

By all means, walk yourself down the aisle. But, without knowing your circumstances and being an outsider, INVITE YOUR FAMILY. Family are the only people in your life who you can’t choose and who will always be there. Think of kids, think of your parents in your old age, think of potential disasters. 

 

That’s my 2 cents….

Post # 6
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

My dad was abusive growing up, so I no longer speak to him after my parents got divorced when I was 18 and moved out already. No way is he going to be invited. I am somewhat close with my mom, but after everything that happened, I always felt my strength is what got me through my childhood and I therefore want to walk myself down. Plus, I have always been independent and I don’t like the idea of someone giving me away. You do you! Walk down that aisle alone if it is what makes sense to you and your wedding day. It’s not anyone’s place to judge – they don’t know your story nor do they need to know.

Post # 7
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2016

Walking yourself, for any reason, is perfectly valid.  Contrary to popular belief, having somebody walk you down the aisle is not a requirement.

My dad and I have decent relationship, but I’m still considering maybe walking myself down the aisle.  It’s a tradition from back when women were traded like property, and while I know not many people think if it that way nowadays, the concept still irks me.  My dad has told me point blank he does not give a @$#%&! about weddings, so I don’t think he’ll mind.

Post # 8
Member
4556 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I’m walking myself because both of my parents and grandfather passed away. Even if my pawpaw was still alive (he was like my dad) I’d still walk myself because we’re getting married in Hawaii and he refused to go lol. I don’t think theres anything wrong with walking by yourself! 

Post # 9
Member
534 posts
Busy bee

I did! And my relationship with my father is brilliant. But he raised me to be wholly independent. (he grew up in an age and country where women were treated poorly and didn’t want me to be dependent on anyone. He’s a bit of a feminist before his time) 

When I asked him if he wanted to walk me down the aisle and give me away he looked me in the eyes and said “Are you a goat on a leash?” and I laughed. Then he said “but if you need me there to help keep you upright, sure!” 

I actually really loved walking myself. And technically we walked TOWARDS one another as we were two unique equals coming together

And let’s be honest if you like attention you’ve got the aisle to yourself 😉 

Post # 10
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I thik it will be beautiful. The day is about you and your fiance. I have a great relationship with my dad, and he’s always dreamed of the walk down the aisle, but if I didn’t, I would definitely walk by myself. The whole giving away thing is a bizarre tradition You are giving yourself to him and he is giving himself to you. 

Post # 11
Member
1819 posts
Buzzing bee

I walked myself and my dad was at my wedding. it was important to me to walk alone.

Post # 12
Member
2792 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

View original reply
ceaharps:  That’s pretty insensitive…people often have very real reasons for cutting family out of their lives which go waaay beyond “different life views.” Most people argue about those things. It sounds like OP has good reasons for being estranged from her parents and I doubt someone who is estranged would want their parents having a relationship with any future grandkids. Sometimes blood does not warrant a wedding invitation.

OP, have you considered walking down with your FI? Not that walking alone wouldnt’ be great as well. 

Post # 13
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

My husband and I walked down the aisle together 😉 

 

Post # 14
Member
2922 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

I’m considering walking alone, this is my second marriage and my Dad walked me the first time, I’m 10 years older now and it just seems a little silly to do it that way again. My only concern of doing it alone is being nervous or tripping or something lol. 

Post # 15
Member
2327 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

View original reply
snowflake8:  I was going to do that until SO and I decided to do away with tradition and we walked down together. Would that be a possibility for you? We got lovely pictures of us both entering the room together and then down the aisle – in it together.

I’m sorry about your family situation. I’m not estranged from mine but there have been plenty of reasons through the years to consider that. My father didn’t come and I’m not into the sexist displays anyway. Some people have their mothers but mine didn’t really ‘raise’ me to be given that honour.

View original reply
ceaharps:  I think your heart is in the right place but I think you may be ignorant to some of the things family can do to one another. I’m sure OP has gone to many pains already in considering her relationship with her family. Sometimes you just need to protect yourself (along with any subsequent family) and it’s absolutely the right thing to do. You could greatly offend someone with a paragraph such as your last. I hope you haven’t in this case.

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