(Closed) Walking on eggshells a little bit…

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2186 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

hate to tell you but the tension doesnt stop. weddings are infamous for them. just prepare yourself for the things that lie ahead and remember at the end of the day you are marrying the man of your dreams!!!! 🙂

Post # 4
Member
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

First, congrats on your engagement! That’s awesome! It’s definitely Happy Happy Joy Joy here in the hive!

As for the other things, try not to worry about it. To be honest, I didn’t enjoy calling people to tell them about the engagement, and put it off for a couple of days. I remember when I called my parents, they seemed a little off, even though I knew they were happy and excited about it – it was a “she’s really growing up/away from us” moment for them. It could be any of a number of things that caused your dad to be a little more serious than ususal.

I feel bad for your cousin and that it was an awkward call – but kudos for calling her and not just electronically letting her know or letting her hear through the grapevine. 🙂

 

Post # 5
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Oh, I’m sorry your happy news is stressing you out!  But I think it’s normal, so don’t feel bad!  Weddings can involve a lot of awkwardness, and it’s a big transition time for family so I think that some tension is pretty standard.  Try and enjoy this time, because it really can be fun, but realize that it’s also stressful, and that’s okay!  At the end of it all, you’ll be married to the man of your dreams and that’s all that matters!  Lots of ((HUGS)) and congratulations on your engagement!

Post # 6
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Congrats!! Also, give it a little time. The two weeks after the wedding were probably the first time Fiance has ever seen me cry. I am not a super emotional person at all… and yet all the stress and not-as-good-as-hoped reactions and budget talks and decisions… I came to him in tears like twice! He said it really freaked him out because that is so not who I am… to be caring what other people think or about things like CHAIRS for goodness sake. I think it just took a few weeks for me to get my balance and my thicker skin and move forward and now its not nearly so bad. i think part of the weird thing about getting engaged is that before it happens you think its going to be 100% wonderful and all sunshine and ponies until you get married… so the fact that it is not that way (for most people) is both disappointing and EXTRA disappointing because its not what you expected. 

Post # 7
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2011

This was exactly how it was for me too!!  Both of my brothers were like “oh wow. gosh. that’s fast.” (we had been dating a year).  And my mom was overwhelmed and didn’t know what to say.  My cousin was a little jealous (I could tell), and my Fiancé’s family was all sort of like, “Well, good.” but nothing too joyous or estatic (Which is exactly how I felt).  It was a big let-down actually.  I really expected everyone to run around being giddy and excited like me.  It’s been a few months and everyone has come around though- and they are excited.  But it was hard for me to understand that everyone had to come to terms with such a huge change in my life (and their lives) and that shock and discomfort (in a weird way) are the early stages of joy when it requires such a profound change.

Post # 8
Member
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

Ohhhh little things, how they are such a bummer… seriously, congrats and don’t let your “engagement happiness” be over quite yet! FI’s mom had already taken her sleeping meds when we got engaged, so when we called she sounded lethargic and a little pissed off–he took it personally until I told him to call her back and make sure she was ok with everything. Then he found out the truth!

So yeah, people act strange, but you know what? YOU’RE ENGAGED!!! Lol. And just try to let the little things not bother you now, because as PP said, it just keeps coming!

Post # 9
Member
322 posts
Helper bee

Relax, its Big News and will probably take a while to sink in for everyone. Sometimes its just a bit overwhelming and I’m guessing people should come to terms with it once you begin wedding planning in earnest (deposits, dress shopping, looking at locations and vendors). It may be that the news is just slightly surreal for them right now.

About the family drama, brace yourself. This is the first of many many more to come and will probably require every ounce of your diplomatic skills to be put into action. Be polite and firm about what you envision for YOUR wedding and don’t let anyone pressure you into doing, acting, looking, feeling a certain way just because they have preconceived notions.

Congratulations on the engagement and good luck!

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