(Closed) walking up the aisle with a veil over your face?

posted 10 years ago in Accessories
Post # 3
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Hmm… my father didn’t even lift up the veil (because I forgot to tell him to). So, I had the veil in front of my face during the whole ceremony until the end. I wasn’t originally going to wear a veil, but my grandmother made me a long one out of $5 worth of tulle the day of, so it was a nice surprise. I don’t think there were any cons, except perhaps having someone to fluff out the veil with your dress train when you start walking down. One pro was the nice look that the veil gave with everything overall.

Post # 4
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I don’t think I want a veil. I’ll try some on when I go shopping for my dress, but I just don’t think I want anything covering up my face. I think it might irritate me. LoL. I don’t know. I’m weird.

Post # 5
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

I did it because I loved the look.  When I first tryed it I hated it. Then months later when I got my veil I tried it and loved it.  I think a longer tulle made the difference, it was 24".  My dad lifted it and was proud to do it (it makes some men nervous to have to lift it.  I think everybody was able to see me through it just fine.

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Post # 6
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I’m going to do the traditional route with the veil covering my face down the aisle and father lifting it at the end. The veil is so sheer I’m not worried about my face being obscured for those 30 seconds down the aisle, and the symbolism is worth it to me.

Post # 7
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2008

I thought it was traditional to have your husband lift up your veil at the end of the ceremony right before you kiss. 

Logistically, I think it depends on the sheerness of your veil.  You definitely want to be able to see where you’re going.

Also ditto chelseamorning on the symbolism. 

Post # 8
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I am, it’s called a blusher and it’s a seperate piece from the actual veil so it can be later removed. It’s also good, because blushers are seamless and so you don’t have anything that actually blocks your face – like sparkles in the line of vision. Or a line of satin along the bottom kinda "chopping" you in half there.

I’m doing it because I think it’s a sweet tradition and I know my dad is looking forward to it. I’ve considered being funny and wearing "Big Bubba" fake teeth so that when dad lifts it he cracks up….I think I’ll skip it though.

 

Post # 9
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

Mine was a two-tier veil, so it wasn’t a blusher, but I did wear it over my face down the aisle. 

Honestly, I don’t dig the symbolism and for that reason kind of wish I didn’t do it.  I was a virgin, but don’t really like to tell the world about my sexual status…
I didn’t want to be walked down the aisle either, though.  But both of those things just meant a lot to my dad (first daughter, first married, he’s kind of had a lot of time to expect it and put hope into it…).  In the end, I did it for my family and not for myself. 

On the plus side, some parents were telling me their little girls questions after the wedding.  "Why is she hiding her face?  Is she shy?" 😀  (I told them I wanted my Fiance to be surprised by how beautiful I was)

Post # 10
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I’m still trying to determine whether I want a blusher.

I spoke with my officiant who has been officiating for decades and he said in my deliberation of whether to use one or not, he told me that people used to do it back in the day when the groom would not see the bride until they married. It was used to cover her face (just in case she wasn’t esthetically pleasing…) so that the groom would not change his mind prior to saying I do.

Interesting!

Post # 11
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I’m wearing a drop veil and having part of it cover my face (either that or a manitlla, depending on how "fancy" my dress is).  Both of my parents will be walking me down the aisle, so maybe I’ll have them both lift it?  Or I might just lift it myself to rid all of that virginity/ugly bride symbolism.

Post # 12
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2008

First off, Candie1024, I think the veil looks beautiful on you.  However, to me the whole tradition is just kinda icky.  I think it gives the wrong message.  One that I’m hiding something, I’m either not walking into the marriage proudly as an equal, or I’m hiding something from the groom.  The second part, the idea that I belong to my father, and I am a gift to be unveiled at the altar also seems icky.  I too struggled with the idea of just my father walking me up the aisle, I would have preferred both my parents walking me up, because they both raised me, rather than just my father.  Anyway, I won’t be covering my face as I walk up the aisle (except with makeup, which, come to think of it . . . )

Post # 13
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

Hmm… I think of it totally differently.  At Jewish weddings, the groom actually lowers the veil over the bride’s face before the ceremony – as a way to say that he is accepting her not just for her outer beauty, but her inner beauty as well.  I don’t see it as hiding anything.

Post # 14
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

I think wearing the veil is a personal choice but deciding to wear one or not based on the old symbolism is kind of silly…almost EVERYTHING in a wedding has a connection to old sexist symbolism.  So if you don’t wear a veil cause you think it has weird symbolism then by the same logic you really shouldn’t wear a white dress, or carry flowers cause that use to symbolize fertility, or  have a bouquet toss, or garter toss, and don’t even think of cutting the cake and feeding each other cause that has all sorts of crazy fertility symbolism as well. 

There is just no way to get around the fact that a wedding use to be a business transaction where ownership of a woman was passed from one man to another.

The point is that none of these things mean what they use to so I wouldn’t get caught up in it.  No one sees you in a white dress and veil and thinks "oh look a virgin!"  It’s pretty much a fashion choice now. Do you like the way it looks and do you feel comfortable? If not don’t wear it.  If so, go for it.

Post # 15
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

EK,

There are so many things done in a Jewish wedding that makes me want to have one! The symbolism is amazing. What you mentioned, the glass breaking…I love it!!!!!! 

It would be strange to do it anyway, huh?  

Post # 16
Member
228 posts
Helper bee

It was because of a lot of that symbolism that we didn’t do any of the things mentioned, BB.  Maybe a wedding used to be a transaction, but eliminating certain aspects of it isn’t really futile either.  Kind of like how some women choose not to change their last name upon marriage because of what it used to mean.

And many people still do associate the white dress with a woman’s sexual status.  (I got a lot of flak about my non-white dress and what it might cause people to think of me *insert eye roll*)

I’m all for if you like it, go for it, but there’s also nothing wrong with objecting to something on principle.

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