(Closed) Walk/Move Out Date Approaching!!!

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: What would you do?
    Walk / Move out : (111 votes)
    68 %
    Give it another year : (9 votes)
    6 %
    Sit down and talk with SO...again : (40 votes)
    25 %
    Other (specify) : (3 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1069 posts
    Bumble bee

    I definitely have… I’ll send you a PM

    Post # 5
    Member
    3266 posts
    Sugar bee

    you should never set a walk date if you aren’t willing to follow through.

     

    Also, if you want partner that helps more around the house, then this is not him. he will not change to suddenly being Mr. tidyup after you are married. he either wants to help and does, or he doesn’t.

     

    Post # 6
    Member
    8695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @Carolinadoll:  I was in a similar situation but it waS over 6 years. I never told him my walk date though bc I dont believe I shouldve had to tell him. We had looked at rings after 3-4 years but over 2 yrs after that still…nothing. I had a walk/move out date and I stuck with it. I did not continue dating him either bc it was pointless to me. He also did nothing around the house which was frustrating bc I worked longer hours and had 3x the commute. We never got back together. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    4524 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @Carolinadoll:  It’s not gotten to that point yet, but I think that’s because a few months ago I made it pretty clear to him that it could. Yet another friend of ours had gotten engaged and he made some stupid comment about “we’ll get there, you havent been waiting THAT long.”  At this point, I had moved across the country twice for his job and we’d been living together, so that comment was a bad choice. I looked him dead in the face and said “I’d advise you *not* to let me get to a point where I dont care anymore.” 

     

    Something about that must have resonated with him, because the next day after work he said we needed to talk and asked me if i could wait 6 more months. 

     

    That is as close to a “walk/times up/ultimatum” conversation as we have gotten.

    Post # 11
    Member
    8695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @Carolinadoll:  I’m engaged now and getting married in September. I never had to bring it up to him. If someone wants something with you then you shouldnt have to urge them or give them dates (atleast for me). I learned that with my current relationship. My ex just didnt want to get married. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    14441 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @Carolinadoll:  I do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, even picking up after him, which I don’t mind, but I believe its a team effort and he’s getting really comfortable in my opinion. That scares me b/c as my husband (if we are to get married) I would expect more from him.

     
    If he’s not helping out now, I certainly wouldn’t expect him to after you get married.  If you are you team, he should be an equal team player now as well.  Marriage is not going to make him contribute more, especially if you are already doing everything for him.

    Post # 13
    Member
    522 posts
    Busy bee

    @Carolinadoll:  

    Overall he’s a great guy and I know he WILL help out as he had before we living together, but he had no choice bc it was HIS place. his domestic ways is one thing that attracted me to him, I just feel he has gotten TOO comfortable.


    This sentense makes zero sense to me. Why would he change if you got married? Why would he change if you got engaged? Obviously if you leave he’s going to have to do that stuff since you won’t be around but otherwise it seems like he’s more than content to have you continue doing everything.


    Does he know that you will be moving out when the lease is up? Have you discussed the fact that he puts zero effort into household work?

    I hope you’re not waiting for a lightbulb to go off in his head and that he’ll have an “Aha” moment where he’s like “WOW Carolinadoll is doing all of the housework. Jeez, I need to help out more” He cannot be that oblivious and since it hasn’t change I doubt he’s going to change on his own.

    The topic ‘Walk/Move Out Date Approaching!!!’ is closed to new replies.

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