Post # 62
That’s why I’m against getting married before engagement/marriage… guys get comfortable and make a girl wait taking anvantage of her waning to get married.
You already lie together, so what I suggest is to do less.. talk with him. He will do less after you’re married, so dont expect he will change for better. I heard people try the hardest before they are married, so if this curent state is not satisfactory for you, then rethink your situation.
I’ only ove in with my SO after we’re married, because he has hhis own house and I wouldn’t want to hear all the time that it’s not my house and feel as if I’m living on his grace. It sucks to be apart though, but my goal is to get maried, and I hope that he will want to speed thigs up because we live apart. It sucks for the money as well, I have to pay for my own apartment, but at least I always have a place to go and call my own, instead of playing house.
I dont mean to criticize you, I just have a terrible day, crying about my SO dragging his feet and it kills my self – esteem. I feel like a failure. Ughh
I hope your SO comes to his mind soon!
Post # 63
@Carolinadoll: I’m in a similar situation except we’ve been dating for longer, and we’re younger. So there’s not as much urgency in regards to age, but more urgency in regards to how long we’ve been together. I can’t really give much advice, but I hope it all works out for you. People have suggested I move out, but I just can’t stomach that. I really do believe it would just lead to a breakup, for me at least.
Post # 64
@Carolinadoll: I think you’re doing the right thing. He wants all the bennies of having a wife without having to give you the love, respect and real commitment of actually making you one. If you stay, yeah, maybe he’ll propose or maybe he’ll just continue to take you for granted and string you along.
Before I moved in with my husband I made sure we were on the same page about our relationship moving toward marriage. After a year of living together he hadn’t proposed so I bought it up and he initially hedged. I told him calmly but point blank that I was not in this to play house and that if he didn’t see us getting engaged soon I needed to find my own place and I was completely serious. He asked for a little time and we agreed to a six month timeline. I felt secure he was sincere in his desire to marry me but if I hadn’t been or hadn’t suggested a timeline – I would not have continued living with him.