I will be in the unpopular vote here, but I think you are being way, way, way too oversensitive. You’re going to sleep in a different room than your husband for a WEEK? For masturbating?
I am assuming we’re all adults here, and I figured that it was common knowledge that men masturbate. Do they masturbate because they’re unsatisfied? Sometimes. Do they masturbate purely for the sake of masturbation? Absolutely. Masturbation, in any relationship or situation, can be normal as long as it isn’t excessive. Just going to remind everyone that masturbation is a GOOD thing. It’s normal. It’s healthy. It’s what people do. It’s what men do.
Masturbating does not mean he is unsatisfied with you. Sometimes men can’t orgasm, and that’s perfectly normal too. You tried, gave it the good ol’ college go, and it just wasn’t happening. It happens to the best of us. Maybe he got the desire and thought he could get off, and what’s wrong with that?
I don’t think he was lying with you to lie, if that makes sense. He knows you dislike masturbation, and he needed to, so he tried to dissuade you from persuing him further. Boners only last so long, you know. He needed to get you to do something else so he could do his business. If he was honest with you, you’d flip out on him (I am purely assuming here, so feel free to correct me), and now that you know he was dishonest, you’re flipping out on him. You’ve put him in a corner and how do you expect him to react?
Realistically, what do you want him to do? Ignore his penis exists except when its inside you? Do you ignore your vagina? Do you masturbate? What did you want him to do, wake you up? And if you couldn’t get in the mood, what then? Then everybody is frustrated and he would still be scolded for masturbation. Your husband can’t win in this situation because you won’t let him. It’s unfair to put anybody in a lose/lose situation. If he is honest with you, you’ll be angry. If he is dishonest with you, you’ll be angry. How would you feel if the roles were reversed?
My husband masturbates. I know he masturbates, and I have no issue with it. If he wants to masturbate to a pair of my panties or pictures of me he has, that’s fine. Everybody heeds the call of the wild. I masturbate, too, and that’s just the way it is. I’ve walked in on him masturbating in the shower. If that’s what he wants to do, fine. He’s had his dingaling a lot longer than I have. He owns it, he’s allowed to use it however he wants. Just because we got married does not mean I now control how he uses it. If he wants to have a go at it, where is my right to stop him?
Ultimately, I think you just need to calm down and put things in perspective. He couldn’t get off during sex, and that’s normal.
He wanted to masturbate and (potentially) get off. That’s normal.
Sex is messy. Maybe he didn’t want to deal with it, and besides, men can rub one off a whole hell of a lot faster than they can get off with sex, at least from my experiences.
Don’t put your husband in a situation where he can’t win and you are forcing him to feel guilty. You’re entitled to your feelings, but so is he. Life is short and pick your battles — is him playing with his penis really worth the battle?
Edit: “I can pretend like I’m husbandless for a week and he can make his own goddam dinners and wash his own goddam work clothes.”
Really? This is the most unhealthy thing I have ever read on this website.
You want to be husbandless for a week. To me, that seems like burning down the house just because you find a spider — an atomic reaction to a smaller problem. I mean no insult, but is this how you’re going to react to everything he does that you disapprove of? Seclude yourself and pretend he doesn’t exist?
I know everyone deals with issues in their own way, but this seems extreme. If this is how you cope with things, maybe you both need to see a marriage counselor. He masturbated. He didn’t sex up the neighbor.