(Closed) wanna plan the rest of life for me?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If I were you I’d choose #1 personally and start looking for new opportunities. Sometimes being in a shitty job you hate isn’t as bad when you know there’s an end to it. So, maybe the next 6-12 months won’t be so bad since you know you’re getting out!

Post # 4
Member
850 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I also say #1. Make a committment to a year, having made a decision, you can open yourself up to planning the rest of your life. It’s going to take time to get everything in place to make the move go smoothly. Having an end date in mind might bring some relief too and bring you the clarity you need. Over the next 6 months/1 year, there is no reason not to work on the health issues you have together. Job stress certainly makes healthy living hard, but what about setting new health goals together every month? The idea being that once you return to the states, you’ll be feeling heatlhy and ready to start trying to have a baby. If you moved now, you might need several months of “recovery time”, combined with financial stress, you might not be in the right place to start a family as soon as you expected anyway. 

Post # 5
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@MrsWBS:  +1

And try to eat healthier and get some sleep.

Post # 6
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

#1.  you can do anything for a limited amount of time!  think about all the things you can do when you are done  🙂

 

Post # 7
Member
8453 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@whenwillhedoit:  It sounds like this stems from you wanting a baby.  If that’s the case, then option 3 would be your best bet.

Post # 8
Member
1094 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yikes.

I don’t know what you should do, but i wanted to give you some cyber hugs!~

Post # 9
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Do what is healthiest. It sounds like you have a really unbalanced life right now. We are so used to driving ourselves into the ground. “Stick it out”? Well, if you can do so without giving yourself an ulcer, or worse, do it. But if you are really at the end of your rope listen to yourself and get out. You’ll be no use to yourself or anyone if you run yourself ragged. If you can find some source of happiness and healthier routine for yourself to lighten the load, make that plan and make it happen. If it isn’t possible, uproot, hit the reset button and give yourselves a chance to breathe. The rest will come. 

Post # 10
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Oh dear..that is a bit of a sticky situation. If you wanted a baby NOW and just cant wait id go with option 3.. my aunt is from south africa and my uncle had the HARDEST time getting her out of there. He had to marry her before she moved in with him then try to get her citizen ship then move them both down to the states(he worked in the military and thats were he was posted temporarily) it worked out in the end but it was a battle..so if you wanted to move to africa from what you said it sounds like youd be stuck there for quite some time.,,It may be hard but maybe if you made some  life sty le changes where you are right now then maybe it will help you feel better. Im also stuck i a job i dont really care for at the moment, it is hard but if you think you can try to eat better, drink less and sleep and try some away time from eachother then you may feel a bit better.

Best of luck to you!

Post # 11
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

can you stick it out for a year, but then start TTC after 6 months. so assuming it doesnt happen first month, youll leave with the money and pregnant (but not so pregnant you cant fly back home, as is normally fine up to 6 months)

then, other than the not loving the job aspect…youll hopefully have money, and baby, and get to go back home!

Post # 14
Member
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@whenwillhedoit:  I know you’re job is stressful, but honestly it sounds awesome from an outsider’s perspective. I think you can suck it up for a while longer to put together more savings. I would not suggest moving to South Africa as I have a friend from there and she constantly talks about the violence and crime. Good luck!

Post # 15
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with some PPs – Option 1 seems best.  There’s an end in sight which hopefully will give you some peace of mind.  If you really can’t fathom perservering, I’d say Option 3 is your next best bet.  Life’s a gamble sometimes – sure you might hate that country and feel stuck.  Or you could love it.  You won’t know unless you try.  I would avoid Option 2 – seems like you’d be taking on WAY more stress than you currently have.

Whichever you choose, can you get yourself help for the eating disorder?  Even if it’s minimal or is just “creeping up” you don’t want it to spiral out of control, especially not when you plan on having a baby in the near future.  Make your health (physical and emotional) a priority.  When planning for a family, it’s best to be proactive rather than reactive.

Good luck to you! 

Post # 16
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think #1.  Part of being an adult and in a partnership is sometimes sucking it up.  Plus if you both go to DH’s home country and you have babies, your still not going to be near your family.  Then you’re really stuck running his families business so far away from yours.  In the mean time start getting your body ready for the babies.  Start eating better, start taking vitamens, get any dental work you need done, and stop drinking so much and get some sleep.  I’m sure that will all help with your mental health as well.

Hang in there (((HUGS)))

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