(Closed) Want a dog so badly, and family keep getting my hopes up high… VENT

posted 6 years ago in Pets
Post # 3
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m so sorry yoru parents did what they did to the yellow lab and that they seem to be sending mixed messages- that truly succks!

I will say though…

Dogs are like children, except they never grow old and become self sufficient! Everything down to their crapping depends on you 😉

Also consider your distance relationship…if you are moving to the USA- can you fly your dog or will it be left with your parents? Will they make you give it away? Do all your future housing arrangements allow dogs? Does your schooling and career aspirations fit in to having a dependent “baby” at home?

How about fostering? Is that an option where you live? So you can have a dog in your life and be a huge part in a dogs life but it won’t be permanent so to speak. Plus you can get yoru feet wet into what dog ownership entails.


Post # 5
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’m sorry they took back your pup :(. That’s so sad. I remember when I was around 10 & I was told by my dad they gave away my new dog we had for maybe 3 days because “someone really wanted him”. So I know how that feels & it sucks. I was so mad & upset & hurt…

You could talk to your parents & see if they’d let you get a dog if you were completely responsible for the dog (financially & timewise). Dogs ARE a huge committment! I can’t leave town for the weekend unless I have a dog-sitter.

Post # 8
244 posts
Helper bee

i don’t get why you’re so upset, you won’t even be home much to take care of the dog.  just wait until you can get your own.

Post # 9
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

If your parents really want a dog that is going to be easy to train and deal with, their best bet is an older dog that already is house-broken. Sometimes elderly people need to move into assisted living homes and leave behind nice, well-trained dogs. The only problem with older dogs is that as their health declines, they can start having accidents in the house, and if they start going blind or deaf they can get temperamental. Puppies are very energetic and will need to be trained to do everything, but they are very fun. I am guessing your parents don’t want that, though. All dogs want attention; they are pack animals. For some dogs, that means 5 hours a day of petting and play time, while for others that means getting to be in the same room as the humans and taking a 23 hr nap interrupted by food and laconic tail wagging. I’m so sorry about the lab, but I do know that breed is very friendly and seems to need lots of attention; maybe your parents were overwhelmed by this puppy’s needs, but they could care very well for an older, calmer dog.   If your parents have never lived with dogs, they will need to learn to adapt to understanding how the dog communicates with them. It isn’t that hard, but of course the dog can’t talk. If they do go with a dog, don’t go based on its cuteness, but on the behaviors and needs of the animal, thinking of every life stage it will have. I grew up in a multi-dog household, and I actually wouldn’t recommend a puppy to a first time dog owner ambivalent about caring for dogs. I really recommend getting advice from people who know a lot about dogs who aren’t hoping you will buy one from them. One of the biggest considerations is what the dog will do all day: will it be outside in a yard looking at birds, or will it be curled up at your mom’s feet? Some dogs will only be happy if they have company, while others will be ok left alone as long as they are outside. Sometimes it is actually easier to have two dogs because they can entertain each other, but I am guessing that option would not go over well with your parents. Good luck!

Post # 10
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m sure it’s frustrating that they change their mind, but if they are going to be the ones caring for the pet, they need to do what they feel is right. When you are living on your own, you can get a pet. I’ve always loved pets, but I’m very glad I waited until now to get my dog. I wouldn’t have had the time or resources to take care of him before.

Post # 11
9648 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

that is terrible that they are saying let’s get one over and over and keep backing out, maybe suggest the older dog idea? and perhaps smaller breeds would be better for them also, lapdog types, ones just happy to lie down all day, but definitely need some playtime 🙂 

Post # 12
1774 posts
Buzzing bee

Older dogs are always a million times easier than puppies.



In fact, I like looking at them, but I don’t do puppies.

Post # 13
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

If you are an adult, why haven’t you gotten your own dog? I don’t understand why your parents getting one has so much sway in your life when you could have one on your own.

Post # 14
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m really confused about this, too – since you aren’t even home to help care for it, why does it bother you so much that your parents won’t get a dog? It should be totally up to them since they are going to be the ones taking care of it and paying for it.

My advice would be to just be patient and wait to get one when you live in your own place.

Post # 15
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

It sounds like your parents’ lifestyle would be better suited to a cat.  Right now, you aren’t really in a good position to take on the responsibility of a dog either.  You can put your obvious love and affection for dogs to good use by volunteering at a shelter or rescue.  This will also help you gain experience not only with dogs in general, but with a variety of breeds and ages, so that when you are able to commit to a dog, you’ll have a better idea of what breed(s) will suit you.  

Yes, it sucks that they bring up getting a dog, then waver back and forth, “Should we, shouldn’t we?”  But it is supposed to be a lifetime commitment, and they need to be 100% sure they are 100% ready to offer that to a dog.  Again, I think they should really consider a cat instead.

Post # 16
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I had a really similar exprience when I was a child. It felt like a real betrayal to me. I’m 30 now, and I take power in the fact that I am a grown woman, in charge of governing my own wants and needs. If I decide that my Partner and I have the time and energy to take on the extra responsibility of a pet, then we will.

If what is bothering you if your parents bringin it up, then saying they won’t get one, the TELL THEM. They’re probably unaware that you feel this way.




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