Post # 1
My boyfriend of 2.5 years and I just had “the talk” about marriage a few months ago. We are on the same page thankfully even when I mentioned that I would like to get engaged this year! So it’s coming! But lately I’ve been doing more thinking about the timing of the engagement vs. the wedding date. In my ideal world, I’d like a 1 year or 1 year and a few month long engagement – not just as a personal preference but also because I would want to have my pick of venues and dates and not be rushed in the planning. And I’d like to get married in the summer or early fall (which in 2016 means September as the Jewish holidays fall in early October), and I know he would agree. Neither of us would want to push the wedding to 2017. That means we would need to get engaged this summer! Unfortunately I know he hasn’t put two and two together and probably hasn’t even ordered the ring. In addition, we have an extremely busy summer with parties, weddings, and travel almost every weekend until the fall, I don’t even see how it would be possible!
Anyway, I’m just worrying myself over something that I can’t control (I like to be in control of things if you couldn’t already tell), so just wanted to vent and ask you bees if you had a similar experience. Also, if you could share what time of year you got engaged vs your wedding date, I’m sure that would ease my mind 🙂
Post # 2
I had a year but probably didn’t need it… 6/23/14-6/27/15
You can’t dictate everything… something will have to give whether it’s the length of engagement or the wedding date. It really will be fine.
Post # 3
I think the more you think about this, the crazier you’re going to make yourself. My advice to you would be to stay in the present and let things happen in their own time. You’ve talked about getting married, so your SO knows that means he has to propose. He will do it on his time. I would enjoy it and not rush the process! I’ve had friends that have gotten engaged in January/February and had weddings in September/October. I would relax and focus more on allowing your relationship to progress naturally and less on when your desired venue will be available.
Post # 4
Not everything happens when you want it to, you have to let it go. You are right- guys don’t really think about this stuff, he’s not planning on anything for next year yet- it’s just a guy thing. It’s not because he doesn’t care, but guys just don’t think about it like girls do.
You can totally get engaged in January/Feb and get married in the summer/early fall. Relax!
Post # 5
- Wedding: Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception/The Gallery
I get this. I really wanted a fall wedding but last fall we (mostly he) wasn’t quite ready. I did get over it and we got engaged over Memorial Day weekend and it was perfect. We both feel good about it and are over the moon happy.
But the fall timeline just doesn’t work. We could have pushed for a 6-7 month engagement and do it this coming fall–but our budget would have been much smaller without so much time to save. Or we could have done 18-19 months and done it next fall. That just seemed like a very long time for us being nearly 30, wanting kids, and not wanting to wait. So we settled on early Sept. 2016. Our engagement will be just under 16 months. Still too long in my book but I just didn’t want a spring/mid summer wedding. So late summer/early fall it is.
My point is this. You really do need to be patient with him, you know it’s coming. I wouldn’t pressure him–it won’t make him want to do it any faster. You really have two options from there: start setting aside and saving money now as well as getting specific ideas for what vendors, etc you want so you can be ready on day one (or two, after it’s sunk in) to start calling, reserving things, etc. Or compromise on the date.
What you really need is to be on the same page as your SO. Do you guys agree on what type of wedding you want? Big? Small? Local? Destination? Having those conversations in advance will help you get a sense of what you need to be ready for as soon as that ring is on your finger.
And try to enjoy these last days/weeks/months as a girlfriend; things get crazy really fast once you change that title to finacee.
Post # 6
I get where you are coming from, I’m a planner too. But you can plan the wedding you want in 8 months. So you do have time! The last wedding I was in she got engaged in september and married in early July.
Post # 7
Anything is possible – I had a friend who planned a gorgeous wedding in 3 months. Sure, a year would be nice…but I would stick w/your plan for next summer, no matter when you get engaged!
Post # 8
We got engaged in October and are getting Married In August. My brother and SIL got engagaged on New Years and had an August wedding also 🙂
Post # 9
Thank you guys! All your advice was so good to hear! I will definitely stop worrying (which is hard, I’m just a worrier by nature) and enjoy the time. Thanks for understanding my somewhat stupid dilemma and for being so kind!
Post # 10
if it’s that important to you propose to him! you’ll make yourself crazy waiting…
Post # 11
I got engaged in September and married in July. We didn’t have any issues with people being booked at thay time. We actually could have had a shorter engagement and been fine but DH really wanted a July wedding. So planning a wedding in less than a year is totally possible!
Post # 12
I was in the same boat. Basically I did all the preliminary research about venues and photographers prior to the engagement. That way I had it narrowed down to the top few so that when he did propose I would be ready right away to start booking appointments and putting down deposits. After the first week of being engaged I had already booked my date and venues thanks to the research I did in advance. Hope that helps!
Post # 13
honestly, a lot of girls I went to college with (and keep up with through Facebook) have been planning their wedding in under 6 months. You get major discounts that way, too!
Post # 14
I understand where you’re coming from! My fiance and I have planned for a wedding September 3, 2016, and we just got engaged in May. I wanted to get engaged as soon as possible this summer so I could start planning. However, I’ve realized that I probably didn’t need 16 months to plan a wedding. Already, I’m nearly in waiting limbo where I have a good stretch of time between the main things (guest list, dress, venue, photographer bookings) and the smaller things that have to wait (decor, invites, etc). In fact, I probably will take the rest of the summer off and start planning again in October. So while it doesn’t seem like a lot of time right now, it really is! 🙂
Just enjoy this sweet time and know that you’ll have more than enough time to plan when you finally get engaged. Good luck!
Post # 15
We got engaged January 3, 2015 and the wedding will be December 19, 2015. 11 months is a lot longer than either of us planned but we chose our date due to a variety of cercumstances. I grew up wanting a fall wedding but when it came down to it, I let go of that dream for the thought of having my sister as my Maid/Matron of Honor and she could not have been there if it was in the fall. I will say though, save now! Save money now and no matter how much (or little) time you have between engagement and your ideal wedding time, you don’t want to be stressed with trying to throw all of your money at the wedding. It’ll stress you and planning won’t be as fun. Put money away now, pin wedding details and ideas and if it comes down to him proposing late winter, you may not necessarily get the venues you really wanted but you will have all the details sorted out and money set aside and you have get to executing those plans asap.