Want a vegan wedding, but not sure if it's appropriate?

posted 2 years ago in Food
Post # 31
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

It’s up to you. I am a teetotaler (I think that’s the word for I don’t drink), and I considered having a dry wedding. Ultimately I decided that as a compromise I would serve some champagne because while I don’t drink, I want to treat my guests a little. Perhaps a compromise would be to ask your caterer to have one option that is not vegan with ethically sourced or humanely slaughtered ingredients. Although, it’s completely up to you whether or not you serve anything non vegan. I wouldn’t consider it rude if you went just vegan. 

Post # 32
Member
3311 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Not a vegan. I’ve attended a vegan weddings, I do not mind. 

Post # 33
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee

jesstheglambert :  I say go for it. At regular weddings, people have vegetarian/vegan options for people who can’t eat the other options. But everyone can eat vegan whether they want to or not. Don’t sacrifice your beliefs. I’m sure they’ll either understand. If someone skips your wedding because of the food options, then you’re better off not having them there.

Post # 34
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper

We had a vegetarian wedding. Didn’t make a big issue of it. Just had amazing caterers and a lot of food!

plentyful and tasty is the name of the game I think 

Post # 35
Member
1679 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

jesstheglambert :  I’m a stock standard omnivore but I quite like vegetarian and vegan cooking, and Fiance is a hunter and bordering on carnivore and is practically morally against vegetarian and vegan cooking.  

We went to a vegan friends catered birthday party about a year ago.  The catering was not openly advertised as vegan, however it was.  It was mainly indian food and it was absolutely divine with curries, samosas, curry puffs etc.  FI was raving about how good the food was and didn’t even realise there was no meat in it!

I think if the catering is good and fairly “normal” food (ie. not tofu, fake meat etc) and the lack of meat isn’t focused on (eg. “warnings” that the food is not meat based) then I think you’ll be suprised by how little people will notice or care.  You’ll probably get a few grumblers – but I went to a wedding recently that served steak or a pretty stock standard chicken meal – and some people still found something to grumble about, so regardless of if you go vegan or not someone will still be unhappy – might as well do as you please.

Post # 36
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Of course it’s appropriate! Personally, I don’t think it’s rude or inconsiderate at all to serve only vegan food at your wedding (and I’d be thrilled to see a menu full of humane options.) On the contrary, I think it’s absolutely appalling for a guest to expect the host to support an industry you know they’re morally opposed to just to satisfy a preference your picky self just cannot do without for one night.  Complaining about vegan food at a vegan wedding is like complaining about no beef option at a Hindu wedding, or no pork at a Jewish one. It’s cringey and insensitive. 

Post # 37
Member
8317 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

ilikebees :  

..I would not be able to enjoy my own wedding day knowing that I had paid hundreds of £ for animals to be killed or exploited.”

Exactly. Not eating   meat because of some dietary/health  reason need  not stop a person from serving meat  options, but if you have  the no-kill/exploit   ideology ( me too) then , no,  you can’t really ethically serve anything else but a vegan  meal .

One meal,  god. I can’t believe anyone would literally NOT GO  to a wedding because there was no flesh to eat !!

Post # 38
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I am not vegan. I think it is ridiculous for anyone to expect a vegan to serve meat at their wedding.  I’m guessing you find meat to be cruel and unethical, so no, you absolutely shouldn’t have to bend your beliefs to appease those who don’t follow them as well. It is one meal, and the people who really love and support you will understand. It is absolutely not the same as a meat eater offering vegetarian/vegan options. I will never understand why this is even a question. People who would skip a wedding over one meal are either not very close to the person getting married (justified) or completely selfish. 

Post # 39
Member
627 posts
Busy bee

It’s fine to have a vegan wedding. Your obligation isn’t to serve everyone their absolute favorite foods. Your obligation is to host them and feed them well. Even the world’s biggest meat lovers shouldn’t feel that they “need” meat at every meal. Make sure your menu is filling and hearty and contains options most people can eat and you’ll be good.

Post # 40
Member
627 posts
Busy bee

pnwlove :  Thank you, I really agree and it’s nice to hear that from a non-vegan! Meat eaters offer vegetarian options because otherwise their veg guests cannot eat. Meat eaters are not restricted from eating anything at a vegan wedding. It’s so frustrating to me when people draw these false parallels.

Post # 41
Member
11456 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’m not vegan, and I may or may not enjoy the food. However, I would completely respect that you followed your values and conscience. I would not ever expect someone else to violate his or her beliefs just to make the masses happy.

For example, we didn’t serve alcohol at our wedding (other than having a single glass of champagne, along with sparkling cider, as one of the two options for our wedding toast), because we didn’t want to be spiritually, morally, ethically, or legally responsible for other people’s alcohol consumption decisions and the potential negative effects that could follow. It’s not that we are opposed to consumption of any alcohol under any circumstances (obviously not, given the toast), because we’re not. However, most people expect and really want to have alcohol at a wedding. I’m sure there were a few guests who were disappointed or even annoyed that our open bar only included soft beverages, but we had to be true to our beliefs about this issue. 

Post # 42
Member
372 posts
Helper bee

jesstheglambert :  We arranged for meatfree alternatives for our vegetarian guests at our wedding. You could maybe compromise a bit – at least some dairy products? In my personal opinion, offering some alternatives for people who have different food views is very kind and considerate. Although it’s your day, it’s not just the two of you.   

Post # 43
Member
266 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2017

Things I like in vegan or vegetarian food, vegetables, carbs, pulses and beans, fruit, nut butters, nuts in general

Things I don’t like, weird meat substitutes like quorn and soya based meatlike products and vegan cheeses. 

So for me, vegan pastas with sauces, soups with pulses, 3 bean chilli and wraps of some sort, anything with bread, cupcakes or cakes topped with nut butters….. I would barely notice it was vegan choice being made, I’d just love the food. 

You do you, don’t put it on the invitation, people don’t need a heads up, or they shouldn’t, to eat 1 meal that’s not of their choosing. 

Vegan sweets, sorbets… Have really delicious food and treat options and if people are off about it, it’s their issue. Do some gluten free, some nut free stuff etc to cater to allergies obviously. 

Post # 44
Member
1350 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’m not vegan and have no issue with a vegan wedding.

I would say don’t advertise that it’s a vegan wedding because that will make some people adverse to it, I’d also do more veg heavy dishes vs meat and dairy alternative dishes.

My vegan friends love nut cheeses but I many people don’t.

i also don’t think you need to compromise with some meat or some dairy, it’s not the same as me having a vegan option for you at my wedding. 

Post # 45
Member
470 posts
Helper bee

Don’t compromise on your ethics on your wedding day. 

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