(Closed) Want to cut a bridesmaid – help!

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What should I do?
    Do nothing - keep her and deal internally with the annoyance : (7 votes)
    64 %
    Cut her - call her on the phone and talk through my feelings : (3 votes)
    27 %
    Cut her - email her and let her absorb the info first, then call her (I'm timid) : (1 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    6661 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I vote for keeping her, i agree wholeheartedly with your Fiance. How many BM’s do you have? Just so you know, if you’ve never been a Bridesmaid or Best Man, on the actual wedding day it’s kind of a fight to get near the bride in pictures and usually only the MOH/MOB win. Just put her last in the lineup and instruct your photographer not to take any pix of her besides group shots. You also don’t say when your wedding is – if it’s coming up soon you don’t have to deal with her for much longer. You can even ask your Maid/Matron of Honor to communicate with her from now on too.

    Post # 4
    Member
    348 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I am in the same boat you are, except it is my Maid/Matron of Honor.

    my wedding isnt until April of next year, and I havent spoken to her since her wedding in November. I am waiting until April, If i still dont hear from her, she is out. I am not wasting my time on someone that has no interest in my life.

    I feel you on this. Talk to her, give her an ultimatum. If she doesnt perk up, she is out.

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    4385 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I would keep her in. It’s extremely difficult to cut someone out of your bridal party, and her actions don’t seem severe enough to warrant all the drama! Just try to stay away from her as much as possible to minimize the annoyance.

    Post # 6
    Member
    67 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    There IS another option. Keep her AND talk to her about how you feel. Not all girls are head over heels about discussing every little detail of wedding stuff, and some just aren’t really gooey in general. You became friends with her intially for good reasons (right?) so it might be worthwhile to just say to her straight up, ” You don’t seem to be feeling this whole bridesmaid thing.” and maybe give her the opportunity to back out on her own or take it as a wake up call that she does have certain responsibilities as a bridesmaid.

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