Post # 1
So… I’m a fashiony kind of girl, one of the things I really want my wedding to be is stylish
However, my mom is kind of a tomboy and my Future Mother-In-Law is…well, a mother of 4 boys. I would so much love to style them for my wedding with beautiful dresses and have their hair color/cut done as well as makeup & hair style…. it would really also help them look great in the photos with all the BMs and GMs that will be fully styled…
Can I offer to do this for them without offending them? Obviously I want them to be comfortable and happy, but I also want them to feel special and beautiful…I just don’t want to come off like I’m saying they don’t look good enough for my wedding as they would normally come. I know some women wouldn’t take it that way from such an offer, especially if I offer to pay… but I’m pretty sure they’re both fairly insecure already about their looks/style, and it might be a sensitive topic…
Post # 3
I think it’s fine to invite the moms along to get updos and makeup the day of the wedding if you’re paying. I would not in a million years suggest they cut or color their hair. That is far different, and more offensive, than inviting them along for pre-wedding primping.
Post # 4
I voted for throw it out there because quite frankly I’d love a makeover if someone else is offering. But, you know your family the best, and if you feel it’s a sensitive topic I believe it would all be in the way that you handle this and bring it up.
I would say just make it sound like something that you want to do to pamper tham and give back for your wedding. I get where you’re coming from as far as wanting everyone to look stylish, but you also don’t want it to come across wrong. I think as long as you keep the moms’ needs/wants in mind through pampering them then it’ll probably turn out to be a win/win for everyone!
ETA: As far as cut/color, them being open to that probably depends on if they feel that they have just neglected their hair, would love the update, etc. etc. However, they might like what they have going on, in which case, you should back down from asking that.
Post # 5
Why not run it past your mother and see how she reacts? You seem sensible and considerate about this and it’s your mom, so I assume she knows you and would not go out of her way to be offended. Hopefully your mom has some suggestions for how to approach your Future Mother-In-Law about it if she responds well.
Post # 6
I voted throw it out there – they can always decline if they are uncomfortable. I know for one my mom LOVED being part of the pampering the morning of! I couldn’t have imagined it any other way though, if it wasn’t weird she would have been my MoH. Future Mother-In-Law didn’t attend our wedding, so…yeah, no experience with that aspect of it.
I think that as long as you present as fun/happy/yayweddingday then it’ll be good. 🙂
Post # 7
@MidwestBride2012: I hear ya… just to clarify, I didn’t mean cut or color it differently than they currently already do it themselves, just like offer to have the salon do it. Future Mother-In-Law does it herself from the box.
Post # 8
You’re right that this is a touchy subject, but I think you just have to feel them out. Offering to have them come get primped with the BMs and you is easy. Cut and color is a bit trickier. Maybe you could say you’re going to get yourself ready for the wedding and see if they want to come, just as a fun thing: “I love a new hair-do and I thought it might be fun to do something together, would that be fun?”. But be prepared that they may not go for it. If they don’t go for it, don’t push it. They may show up in their normal do. Be okay with that. It’s better than them being self concious the whole night