(Closed) want to have my wedding a month after sisters wedding!!!!

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

I think a few things come into play when close family members get married around the same time. 1. Money. Are your parents the type to offer financial assistance for a wedding? if so, would you accept that offer, or do you intend to pay for everything yourselves? 2. Guests. If you have a fair number of Out of Town family that would attend both weddings, it may be hard for them to do so. traveling 2 months in a row is a lot of money and time off of work, and guests simply may not be able to do it. Then they would be in a tough spot of having to choose which wedding to attend. 3. Feeling “special”. Some brides need to be the center of attention and simply cannot bear the idea of sharing the limelight. others are perfectly happy to fly below the radar and get married for the sake of being married. Which kind of bride are you? your sister? Only you know the answers to these questions.

Post # 4
Member
5011 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

I know that this probably isn’t what you want to hear, but I don’t think it would be fair of you to book your wedding within even a few months of your sister’s wedding without her explicit agreement and blessings. If she’s happy for you to elope a month after her wedding, then go for it, if not, then I’d just hold off ’til the flights start again.

It’s not fair that you have to wait, I know, but is it really worth risking a family feud?

My second-cousin and I got engaged within weeks of each other and two and a half months after I booked my date she booked her wedding for just a fortnight later. It’s caused no end of hassle for our mutual family and some ill feelings between me and her (when previously we were close friends).

 

Post # 5
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think you are very gracious for putting her feelings first, but honestly, you can get married whenever you want.  I would just worry if you have a lot of people traveling, you wouldn’t be able to get them there 2 months in a row. Why don’t you elope, and then have the reception next year?

Post # 6
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: March 2012

My Fiance and I have been together for 6 years and announced our Engagement in April 2010.  We decided on a long engagement to allow time for my family to save to attend as they all live overseas so set our date for 31 March 2012.  In June of this year (2011) my sister announced her Engagment and has set the date for 3 March 2012 – 3 weeks before my Wedding. I am devastated and don’t know what to do. How do I deal with the sense of hurt and betrayal I have?  How do I diplomatically deal with family and other guests who are invited to both but choose to now only attend her Wedding?  I can’t afford to cancel my wedding and she refuses to cancel hers and it’s torn our family apart. So, how is your sister going to feel if you do the same thing to her as my sister has done to me?  Perhaps she’s more forgiving than me because I can’t see how I’m ever going to get over this!

Post # 7
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

So your sister has already scheduled and canceled her wedding once?

If you want a spring/summer wedding, go for it. There is no reason not to do May or June if she’s got September. Just keep in mind that out of town guests and family may have to choose which one to attend. If your parents are planning on helping you both, sit down with them as soon as possible so they know how much they can budget, before they start making financial promises to either of you. (And they’ll probably be able to afford less than they could if there was a year or more between.)

The thing about canceling her wedding if you schedule yours before hers is just her acting like a spoiled brat. I say, do what works for you and your Fiance, it sounds like you guys have it together. If she decides to cancel her wedding (again) in a temper tantrum, too bad, so sad.

 

Post # 10
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I always tell everyone, it’s not fair to claim an entire season as only your wedding season for the year…spring/summer is an incredibly popular time for weddings, and she can’t be mad if you want to have yours around that time period, too.  It’s unreasonable of her to ask you to wait another year just because she wants to be first…

Post # 12
Member
653 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

My sister and I are getting married 3 weeks apart 🙂 I got engaged 3 months before her and then I planned my wedding 3 weeks after hers lol. At first everyone was shocked but we are having so much fun together!!!

Post # 13
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@depressedb2b: Why do you care so much about what she thinks?? She obviously doesn’t care as much about your feelings. I say, match the respect she gives you with the respect you give her, and if she says something, call her out and tell her that’s how she treats you. Maybe then she’ll realize that its NOT all about her.

 

Post # 14
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@depressedb2b:

Good for you.

It doesn’t sound like she’s a very good sister to you, period, and she may never be. Sometimes you have to just take a deep breath and let it go. It sounds like the rest of your family is reasonable, though. 🙂

Post # 15
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@depressedb2b:Hi – I thought I would let you know my experience (from the other side of the coin). My fiance proposed November 2010. My little sister and her fiance got engaged on Xmas Eve 2010.

I don’t live near my parents and neither do any of my siblings  and the first time I saw them after my engagement was xmas day (so of course the fuss was all about my little sister and her engagement the night before).

In January  I set my wedding date for 17 Sept this year. I rang my little sister to check with her to make sure she was ok with that before I booked anything. She said she was fine. So I booked and paid my non-refundable deposits for reception venue, church etc.

My little sister then decided she would get married on 10 Sept this year (ie one week before me). She also decided to get married back at home near my parents farm.

Then  she decided to travel to Europe for the last 3 months (for their spring/summer)and she has flown back into Australia this week – so basically everyone is focussed on her wedding as she has not been here to organise anything herself.

 

I must say originally I was upset (and you can probably tell that from the above post) – but guess what – I  got over it.

 

Her wedding is her wedding. My wedding is my wedding.We will still have our own days, its just that they will be close to each other.

We are currently joking that bets should be put on whether dad will mix up the names for the fiances in his speech – or whether he will use the same speech for each wedding. Or whether the minister will change his sermon or not.

My other sister is joking that she might bring a different date to each wedding to see if the relatives notice.

Being a week a part means that all the relatives have decided to take the whole week off. They will go to my little sister’s wedding – then spend the week on my parent’s farm then travel up to my wedding.

In the end – I suspect the family will remember it for quite some time to come – as it is unusual for two sisters to get married so close to each other.

So I say – you know what – if she cares about you and wants to make family a priority, then she will accept you getting married when and how you want.

The topic ‘want to have my wedding a month after sisters wedding!!!!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors