(Closed) Want to include my stepmom but my mom will go nuts

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Oy. I’m sorry you have to deal with this.

My first instinct is that you shouldn’t let your anticipation of your mom’s reaction hold you hostage. If you want to honor your stepmom by having her do a reading, you should get to do that.

You can only control your own actions, not your mom’s. If she’s as unstable as it sounds, there’s NOTHING you can do to celebrate your stepmom that wouldn’t send your mom off the handle. So you might as well do what you want.

Post # 4
Member
2786 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Ugh, I hate these ridiculous family politics.

Sometimes people surprise you. FI’s mom and aunts can’t stand to be in the same room as one another, and we were really nervous as to how that would go down. However both have come to us separately and vowed not to let it be an issue because this day is about us, and not their issues. It is possible your mom may let it go for just one day.

However, if she gives you a hard time…well it sounds like she had been all along anyway, so just let her say her piece and then say to her “You will always be my mom, but she is still abig part of my life, and it’s important to me to have her be a part of this day. I hope you can understand that and put your differences aside for this one day for mine and FI’s sake”

Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Since your Mom is walking you down the aisle, you can have your step-mom escorted as part of the processional. Also make sure she gets a corsage.

Post # 6
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Have your step-mom do the reading but don’t have your sister join her. If your mom is still that bitter and angry, you do not want her to feel like your sister is taking sides.

Post # 7
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Have your stepmom do a reading, have her escorted to her seat with a corsage and honor her in any other way that you would feel is appropriate.  Your mother is nuts and is going to do what she is going to do.  Caving in to her crazy behavior is just encouraging it–like a toddler, if you don’t give her the attention that she is aiming for, the behavior will eventually stop.  This woman has been a big part of your life for 18 years, it’s time to get over it.

Post # 8
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

if your mom is walking you down the aisle then your stepmom can do the reading – time to let her know her poop wont fly anymore and she has to learn to suck it up or lose you in the process.  goodluck and be strong – making her happy will only make yourself unhappy so dont fall into the trap

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