(Closed) Want to send him ring pics, when is good?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I have been there. I honestly asked him if it would be ok to send him ideas of what I liked after his brother proposed to his Girlfriend. It was a good way to break the ice because we were just talking about their engagement and her ring so it was a nice segway into talking about ours.

We are currently not engaged either but it was SOOO helpful because I honestly wanted him to love the ring too since it is an expensive purchase that he would be buying. Once I sent him rings, we started looking together and he got very into it.

Bottom line be honest – guys don’t think like we do. He may not even notice the timing with the weddings and everything. Or he could be looking on his own and have no idea where to start but doesn’t want to ruin the surprise so help from you may be a good thing.

And when you do bring it up, don’t do it with a super serious tone. I would send him funny little things with the emails so he knew I wasn’t bossing him around and that I just having fun, but he did end up keeping all of the emails :).

He also didn’t understand the girl knowing anything about the ring or proposal. It was such a good thing we did talk because what he had in mind I did not want at all. He is very old fashioned so I sent him a few different styles and price points so it will still be a surpise, but recent events have changed that a little.

Good luck and I hope this helps!

Post # 4
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee

I complained to my guy about all the people that had been hassling me and making me feel bad about us not being engaged yet. I wasn’t pressuring him. Just letting him know how extreme things were getting on my end. He ended the conversation with a send him style suggestions request. I never brought it up. I had decided to wait for him. But if you’ve already talked about rings and you’re worried about what he’ll pick AND you’re nervous about how to broach the subject? I’d email him. Send him a simple email with a couple links. Tell him you know he wants it to keep it a secret but here are a couple styles you like in particular. Don’t flood his inbox. Just a couple links to send him in the right direction. You don’t even have to bring it up in conversation. Once you do it you’ll feel like a load has been taken off your back. But just make sure, like MissBennett said, to be light about it.

Post # 7
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee

I sent 8 total. 3 were simple styles that were uber affordable that I would love. 3 were fantasy styles that I told him were just a guidline. If he could find a similar style in a cheaper bracket, great. In an email a week later I sent 2 additional styles that were different that the others that I just found. that was it.

But I wouldn’t overwhelm him. I picked out my favorites. Because if this was the one chance I could send something I wanted to make sure the ones I loved best got in. So, I’d send a small handful so he can get an idea of what you like.  If he asks for more, fantastic. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Isilme: I totally understand. Every person we know who gets engaged, their ring is bigger than the last so it does seem to be a competition. My friend just got engaged with a HUGE ring and my guy said he needed to top it but it is something I personally do not want and I explained I want the marriage and life together not a huge ring.

I sent him about 4 rings that I liked. I told him what cuts of diamonds I did not like and what settings I also did not like and gave him my ring size. I wanted a solitaire but he said it was too plain and he wanted a 3 stone which I did not want. We both have agreed on a round halo but as far as the specs of it go, that is all up to him.It was super important that we talked about this before because neither of us were on the same page.

It is so easy to get swept up in the competition, but you guys obivously love each other so what does it matter what people say? If you are more worried about people coming to him and looking down on him, your opinion will be the only one that matters and just reassure him how much you love it.

And, you are NOT a bad person for wanting something nice and reasonable. You obivously care enough to get some input and you don’t want to upset him so it will all work out.

That was long I know, but I hope it helps you! If you need to chat about it just message me!

 

Post # 9
Member
1126 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I was browsing on my computer one night when we were hanging out, and he noticed what I was looking at.  I sheepishly confessed I was browsing rings, for fun, since I obviously wasn’t expecting one anytime soon (we had been together less than a year).  I then asked him if it would be alright if I emailed him a couple links, so when/if the time came, he would know what I liked without having to ask me and spoil the surprise.  He made fun of me a lot for it, but he said sure, and I know he was actually happy about it when he decided to find a ring.  He ended up getting a different ring than what I had chosen (mine were cheaper options), but he following the design elements and got me an incredible ring.

I’d just be honest, and in a relaxed situation bring up that you’ve been seeing lots of e-rings, and some you like but some you hate.  So not to pressure him, but would it be alright if you sent him some pictures so he understands your style.  What guy would say no to that?

Post # 11
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Isilme: My guy (although he will never admit it) is always looking for approval of others, expecially his family. He has always been the black sheep and gets hurt easily so I understand.

I would just keep encouraging him how proud you are of him, that speaks volumes to them. And I love your idea of sending him bands as well!

I hope it all goes well for you guys!

Post # 13
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Isilme: good luck! let us know how it all goes ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 14
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee

Two of SO’s closest friends (a couple) announced their engagement. At their engagement party I admired the ring a lot. That night we were talking about their engagement and I mentioned the ring. I said what I liked and what I’d change if it were me. Then he asked me what kind of ring I liked. I told him about my dream ring and then a few days later I pulled it up from the website for him to see. It wasn’t pre-planned, it just happened. I guess if I had planned to show it to him, I’d do it nonchalantly too. I’ve only showed him one; there is only one I want. 

 

Post # 15
Member
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I did the exact same thing you did, but I guess after that things got a little far and ended with me crying my eyes out.   Treat carefully, I honestly don’t know what came over me as I’m normally a very calm person but it can get out of control. 

 

Good luck! 

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