Want to start planning but COVID!

posted 2 weeks ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
238 posts
Helper bee

Hi!!! November engaged here as well. I know it’s tough and it feels weird but we picked a date and have started making lists of venues and sending emails to them. I am phrasing my emails to include that I know things could change between now and our date but so far, everyone has been excited to talk to us. 

We plan on visiting venues in May (already making appointments for that) and having a final decision this year with the wedding due in 2023. Engagement party will be next year. One here in Oregon with all our friends and one in California with family (we both are from the Bay Area)

What has been great for me is making a timeline of things I can control while the rest is up in the air. I know some venues might not make it but most of the well established ones will so I feel comfortable making a decision later this year.

Have fun in the research! Get some wedding books (I grabbed rock n roll bride, A practical wedding planner, and offbeat bride. 

I like the practical wedding planner (she has two books but the planner is key) because it has activities to get you on the same page with your fiancé. It helps you figure out what’s important and what might not be as big of a deal. We do one activity thing a week together to keep us thinking. 

We made a new Pinterest together as well and joint email for venues and house buying. 

While none of this is ideal, we are making it as fun as we can and I think us post Covid brides will have a some solid weddings due to the extra planning time hahahahaha 

Post # 3
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2022

I feel you sooooo much. I got engaged 1 day before lockdown beginning of March and only got to tell 5 people and it seemed too impersonal to just message everyone else. We also decided to exchange the ring for a different design and upon returning the ring to James Allen, the company went on lockdown. We weren’t able to place a new order until Aug and it didn’t arrive until end of Oct! Since we were quarentining, no engagement photoshoot -which I was really looking forward to since we have a dog and it’s hard to coordinate with 2ppl. It wasn’t until Xmas when we finally bit the bullet, got a tripod and spent 2hrs wrangling the pup to get a photo on a phone and finally ‘made it official’ hahahah

After all that, which was really just a bunch of waiting, I feel too defeated to try and look at venues, dresses, guest lists etc and honestly after seeing how long this might go on for, am really considering a city hall sign and done

  • This reply was modified 2 weeks ago by  thecleverfoxgirl. Reason: clarified date
Post # 4
Member
263 posts
Helper bee

I feel you on this, I got engaged on Valentines Day last year and can’t even think about wedding planning because it makes me sad. I wanted a destination wedding in Vegas at a fancy hotel but that idea has gone to crap with the pandemic. I can pretend to think about it but I work in medicine and I doubt that there will be any normalcy until 2022 or 2023. I don’t think I want to wait that long to get married so I will probably just go to City Hall in the summer. 

I almost get mad thinking about it, I know it’s selfish to be annoyed since there are people dying. My best friend’s advice was telling me that it’s okay to mourn plans. In the end I’d rather be safe then risk the safety of my friends and family. 

Post # 5
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

View original reply
@sjsco96:  Congratulations on your engagement! I’m also newly engaged as of Nov 2020. Alot of ppl have said “you don’t  seem excited “… It is not that I’m not excited but that Covid sucks and I can’t even begin to make plans with many venues still closed or only allowing smaller weddings.. I’ve been focused on the things that I do have control over like picking my colors, my bridal party, doing some DIY things and looking at wedding dresses online.  Looking to order some soon to see what style I like. Just do what you can..I too have spent some time on pintrest with my guy…best of luck.

Post # 6
Member
13 posts
Newbee

I totally understand your feelings. Newly engaged as well (December 2020)!

We decided on a date already September 2022. We did virtual tours for a few venues and fell in love with one, so we booked it. Our venue has COVID contingencies built into the contract, so we don’t lose out on any money – I think a lot of venues are now doing this in order to keep business. I’ve been just doing a lot of planning, playing around with colors, flowers, decorations and online dress window shopping lol.

We did start planning an engagement party for August 2021 however if it doesn’t work out the way we want, it’s fine! We’re going to roll with the punches and adjust accordingly. Enjoy being engaged!

The health of our family and friends is more important to us, our marriage won’t be about a big wedding it’ll be solely about our love.

HAVE FUN WITH THE PLANNING PROCESS AND DON’T STRESS WHAT YOU CAN’T CHANGE wink HAPPY PLANNING!!!!!!

Post # 12
Member
13 posts
Newbee

View original reply
@sjsco96:  thanks bee, it’s an exciting time! Hopefully by the end of 2021 we’ll have a clearer picture on COVID, I really don’t think we’ll ever be over COVID we’ll just have to live with it.

That sucks that the UK borders are closed – are they having bad outbreaks or just trying to keep others out so they don’t bring COVID there?

Post # 14
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2021

Congrats!! I got engaged in October. Honestly, while we called our immediate families that same day and I facetimed my closest girlfriends together for a few minutes that evening, we didn’t really announce it anywhere. He changed his facebook status soon after (which in turn updated mine) and we just sat and watched some ‘congrats’ comments roll in, which was amusing. A little lacking in excitement, but oh well. 

We did have dinner with our families (separately, and we still had really mixed feelings but opted to take the risk to celebrate that once). 

We didn’t really have any issues touring venues as it was all by appointment so just us and the 1 venue person, and everyone masked. We booked our venue in November; since we wanted 2021 spring, I had a lot of anxiety and needed to get a date nailed down asap.

One thing we did is talk a lot about who we felt HAD to be there (basically our immediate family and wedding party). I’m BUMMED to not invite relatives to be there – I’m not particularly close with them but it’s my day to be the star, dammit!! 😂 So that has sucked but over time I’ve somewhat adjusted to the idea, and we hope to have zoom for the ceremony. To be careful, if you want to have your wedding within the next year or more, I’d err on the side of a smaller guest list. Maybe do a couple tiers based on importance. We are also pushing back things like save the dates and invites, especially since we aren’t inviting anyone to fly (it just did NOT feel right). Our families and wedding party all know the date already so receiving paper in the mail would just be a formality (one I still absolutely intend to do and I’ve got a new wax stamp ready to go!). 

For us, waiting until 2022 or 2023 just did NOT feel like an option because we both feel ready, are in our early 30s, and do want kids (but without feeling super rushed). He suggested the courthouse but I need the fully wedding experience, lol. So, small wedding it is. We went with fully outdoors and will at MAX have 40 people there. Seating by household and I absolutely expect my annoying but lovable siblings to keep their masks on when not seated. But really – you have to just take some time, talk with your partner, and figure out what feels right for you!

Post # 15
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee

Congratulations to all you bees on your engagements.  

One thing you can plan during Covid and that’s your budget!  I know it sounds really boring, but when we got engaged, it was the first thing we did.  Unless you are so wealthy you don’t even have to think about costs, it’s really, really helpful.  No wedding day on earth is worth saddling yourself with huge mountains of debt for, and there’s nothing more frustrating than setting your heart on 200 guests and then realising you can’t afford to feed them, or losing your heart to a stunning dress that means you can’t afford a decent venue.

Once you’ve got your budget sorted out, think about your guest list – there’s no point looking at venues that are too small for your minimum number of ‘must haves’ or caterers that are too expensive per head for that number.  

You can do loads of browsing online for venues, florists, photographers etc, and to get an idea of dress styles and which designers you might like to try once you can get out and about again.  We got engaged pre-Covid, but picked our stationery from an online company and pretty much picked our photographer from email & phone conversations – our meeting in person was really just a formality.  So lots you can do during the waiting time.

And if any of you do have to limit your wedding plans due to Covid, I can promise you the wedding day will still be a special one!

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