Post # 1
My husband and I have been married for almost three months now. I’m 25, he’s 26 I’m seeing so many women having babies right now and it’s giving me baby fever but I just don’t feel like at the moment I’d be able to financially support a child. I want to start a family. We own a home but literally all our money goes to bills and food, that’s it. There’s really not a lot of room for extras. My husband makes more than I do and has a little extra money to use but I wouldn’t want to have a child I couldn’t financially support on my own. I feel like with all of our credit card debt and payments we will NEVER be out of debt the way we’re going. I don’t want to wait forever to have a baby but I’m so scared we will struggle our whole lives. I guess I’m just venting. Has anyone been through a similar situation?
Post # 2
Why wouldn’t you want him to help support his own child? Even if you split up for some reason, he’d have to take responsibility. This is a partnership, not something you’re doing on your own.
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2012 - Iowa
I felt the same before and when we started ttc, and had major anxiety after we first got pregnant about how we were going to afford a baby!
We combined finances, created a budget, and actively started paying down debt. We were 100% aware that money would be tight while the kids are in daycare and we’re counting down the days till they’re not. (We have 2) 🙂
Definetly don’t rush into TTC just because everyone else is, enjoy your marriage, figure out your finances as a couple, and go from there. We married at 28 and waited until 30 to TTC.
Post # 4
I really had three main requirements for feeling ready to TTC: 1) being married and in a stable relationship; 2) being financially secure; 3) feeling emotionally ready.
What financial security means for one couple will be wildly different than what it means for another. For us, it meant having decent health insurance and enough $$ in savings to cover medical expenses for pregnancy/birth plus a decent chunk on top of that for other unexpected baby-related costs that might come up. We don’t own a house or have hundreds of thousands socked away like many bees on here, but we felt secure enough to go for it anyway.
Post # 5
My fiance and I are playing it safe – maybe too safe. But what we’re doing is going forward with our budget pretending that his income is the ONLY income we will ever have. Not the case, but to prepare for TTC, we’re just pretending that. Once we settle our budget and lifestyle so that we can live on one income, my entire paycheck is going towards savings and baby money.
We’ve been planning this since we got engaged, and based our apartment, phone bill, car payments, literally everything around it. But finally his car is paid off, our student loans are paid off, and we’re getting married in June, hopefully with a stable one-income budget and extra money in savings 🙂 It’s been SO hard, and I’m sure we’ll hit a snag somewhere (my car is on its last leg lol so a new car for me is in the future), but miraculously and with lots of sacrifice (no luxury cruises or enormous televisions and brand-new smartphones for us!), we are doing it to the best ability we can!
Post # 6
Create a financial plan and get on a budget. To tackle debt, I recommend Dave Ramsey’s debt snowball method. Hit one credit card at a time and be dedicated to eliminate debt. Once you create a plan, you’ll be surprised to know how much money you’re wasting and how quickly you can get your situation turned around, so you and hubby can begin TTC. Good luck!!
Post # 7
That’s a tough spot to be in, bee. I found that moneyaftergraduation.com was really helpful to me when I felt like I was in a revolving paycheque/debt repayment cycle. The older posts might be a bit more applicable.
My husband and I put off ttc so that my job situation will be more stable moving forward, so I understand your struggle with putting it off. It’s frustrating to feel that the time will never be right. I tell myself that the delay will be worth it, and that having other aspects of my life under control may make it easier to get pregnant.
Post # 8
We’re in the same position. My husband already has 12 yr old daughter. We’ve been together for 6 yrs and married for 2. He’s 37 & I’m 29.
I know we would be good if we had a baby. I’m starting to develop resentment bc I feel like we’re running out of time. Many people that I talk to say just go for it and you’ll never be completely ready.
Post # 9
Agree with PP – if you have a child it makes sense that you would contribute and support equally.
It sounds like at this point you may be rushing a bit. You are very young and do have some time, so maybe you should give it a bit. Having a baby, while wonderful, comes with its own stresses, and being under extreme financial stress as well would be hard. Pregnancy is also a very unpredictable thing. I would hope that everything would go well, but there can be complications. I was diagnosed with an incompetent cervix and was put on bedrest at 13 weeks, meaning we took a huge hit financially. We are lucky that we can afford it at this point.
It sounds like you definitely want a child/children, so start to plan for it. Set up a realistic timeframe and come up with a budget with your partner. There is never really a ‘right’ time, but you may save yourself some heartache by planning for a slightly better time than ‘right now’. Good luck!
Post # 10
I definitely would not have a child I couldn’t afford. It’s a huge responsibility bringing another human into the world. Do either of you have jobs that have room to grow or yearly raises? When Dh and I were buying our house we crunched down to save rapidly and were able to save way more than we thought possible. We had to cut back things like eating out a lot and watching what we were actually spending money on. Maybe you can do the same even if you start small. You’d be surprised at how much money you actually have when you don’t spend frivolously. Some of the things we did was put away an entire paycheck for the months we got paid 3 times and had set amounts of how much we were putting aside as if it were a bill that needed to be paid. We got a house in less than a year of doing our saving. I would suggest the same for a baby and also having good insurance and knowing what it covers.