Want to try for second child but husband doesn't- update after medical advice

posted 5 days ago in Emotional
Post # 16
Member
320 posts
Helper bee

cypresstree85 :  The desire to have children can be very strong and overwhelming for many…

Post # 17
Member
530 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

kayaa :  “cypresstree85 :  The desire to have children can be very strong and overwhelming for many…”

Also, it comes down to personal risk tolerance. If there were a 5% chance of a particular complication happening to me, despite that risk being 2.5% for the general population, I’d probably still chance it because 95% are good odds. What makes it hard is when you’re not on the same page with the other half of your team.

Good luck with therapy, OP. I hope that it helps you and your Darling Husband come to grips with what happened, and brings you both peace with whichever decision you make next. 

Post # 18
Member
305 posts
Helper bee

dianaj17 :  Also, he got little support at the time but OP did, so she might be in a better place emotionally and better prepared for pregnancy and childbirth again, but he is only beginning to deal with the trauma now.

 

Post # 19
Member
320 posts
Helper bee

chocco :  Well, they already have a daugher, and she needs her mum. Maybe to her husband even a little bit of extra risk is not worth it. Just imagine if something happens to OP. He would probably never forgive himself because people tend to blame themselves in such situations. 

Post # 20
Member
1582 posts
Bumble bee

kayaa :  true, but childbearing generally is pretty risky even for healthy moms, so it’s tough to weigh the risk for OP without knowing specifics.

Post # 21
Member
209 posts
Helper bee

jasminek :  Nobody said there was anything wrong with having only one child. But obviously OP and her husband want or wanted another baby before the complications the first time around. 

Post # 22
Member
3721 posts
Sugar bee

limeandlemon :  I would talk to a reproductive endocrinologist if you are interested in surrogacy. It’s much more common than you think.

Post # 23
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee

chocolateplease :  I think it’s about how he perceives it though. Psychologically he may never be ready after what he witnessed the first time.

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