Post # 1
Hi Bee’s this is my first post!
I have a long, nice bridesmaid dress that I paid over $200 for and want to wear it before the wedding.
I am going on a 13 day Med. Cruise (thanks to my parents) this summer. It is on a nicer cruise line with 3 formal nights. I am wearing long dresses on the 3 formal nights and the men in my family will be wearing a tux. I can’t afford to buy 3 formal dresses. My mom has to help me pay for the dress :/
I have decided I am going to wear it because this is the perfect opportunity to wear a $200+ dress again that I like… even thought it is ONE week before the wedding. I will NOT post pics until AFTER the wedding. I do not drink and will not be dancing in the discos or anything, just dinner and a show.
So should I tell her first? Not tell her? Ask her? What do I do? Help!
Please answer my poll, you can pick mulitple choices 🙂
Post # 3
I don’t think that you should wear it at all before the wedding. I think that you are taking a terrible risk on ruinning it before the wedding and just not worth it IMO.
Post # 4
As a bride, I will say that if either of my BM’s wanted to wear their dress before the wedding, I wouldn’t be too worried as long as they PROMISED on their LIFE that they wouldn’t destroy it. If you aren’t doing anything except dinner and a show, I don’t see a problem– just stay away from the red wine 😉
That being said, if you do happen to destroy the dress (that red wine gets down the front of the dress and it’s a nice light colour) you will be done for. There will be no way to replace it before the wedding, nor will you be able to remove bad stains.
Post # 5
While it is your money, you got it for her wedding. I don’t think its quite worth the risk. Besides, it sounds like the dress is quite wearable, so why not put it to use for an event after the wedding.
Post # 6
What color is the dress? If it is black or another dark color, I think you’ll be okay. If it is a lighter color, or even a midrange color, I wouldn’t risk it. You may be as careful as can be but someone else could bump into you, spill something on you, get make-up on you, etc.
I don’t think I would tell the bride. She surely already has a lot to on her mind. I wouldn’t add to her stress by giving her one more thing to worry about.
Post # 7
Thank you everyone for the fast replys!
The dress is gray, called shadow. I do not drink, and no one in my family will be either so I do not need to worry about red wine 🙂
And of course I will do everything in my power not to ruin it! I will be wearing it in my cabin, take pictures, go to show, eat dinner, take off and go to bed. No dancing/risk of bumping into people.
This is going to be a trip of a liftime for my family and we all want to be dressed to the nines.
Post # 7
I wouldn’t just because of the risk. It would be just your luck to wear it and as cautious as you would be something is bound to go wrong.
Besides, she has you standing up in her wedding. She obviously trusts you so go ahead and explain to her that you plan on wearing it.
Post # 8
I’d say take it on the cruise and wear it, but maybe think through a back-up plan in case something happens to it. If you think your friend would be reasonable about it, maybe talk through the options with her – though I don’t think you need her permission to wear a dress you bought, even if it was for her wedding. It seems silly to me to spend money you don’t really have on an extra dress when you just shelled out $200+ for a perfectly good one.
Post # 9
Could you borrow some formal gowns from friends? That way you wouldn’t have to wear the gray gown. No one would know they were borrowed.
Post # 10
Its your dress. Feel free to wear it. I would mention it to the bride and tell her you will use the utmost care to make sure it is clean and presentable for the wedding. That being said, I assume both you and the bride are adults, so she should be happy that you are getting so much use out of the dress. Very few bridesmaids actually ever wear their dresses again, especially if it is long. And for those worried about stains, I spilled chocolate cake all over my prom dress (I’m so coordinated lol) and it was professionally cleaned and came out fine.
My dress was kelly green chiffon over champagne silk/satin
Post # 11
I put ask her first, because if you are close enough to be her Bridesmaid or Best Man I’m sure she’ll say be understanding enough to say “yes.” 🙂 And if you don’t ask her, at least tell her- she’ll end up seeing your photos and knowing eventually.
Post # 12
I think this is asking for trouble! Sods law dictates that a)someone will spill something unremovable on it b)it’ll get torn/ripped/damaged c)it’ll suffer some misc. other disaster. It’s really not worth the risk.
Post # 13
Well you paid for it, so it’s YOUR dress, and I think that you should be able to wear it before the wedding, so long as you told her first, and also told her specifically it will be AS GOOD AS NEW when you wear it on her big day (so obviously get it cleaned if you throw your food down it — like I would!! haha!)
Post # 14
Ok thank you everyone! I will tell her first and promise her I will treat it as though it were made of pure gold!
I don’t want to borrow a dress from someone else because I really like this dress and it will match with my family for family pictures. I understand the concerns and accidents “do” happen… but I am willing to take the risk. I will make sure to tell her first and as I stated, be super careful with it.
I can’t believe how helpful these boards are! I have loads of questions to ask!
Post # 15
My one concern wouldn’t be with what YOU will do in the dress, but the other crazy things that can happen to dresses in an uncontrolled environment. Someone else could slip and spill something on it, someone could step on it, it could rain (though I don’t imagine the last one is a huge concern on a ship.) If you do wear it, just wear it for the events and take it off ASAP. I’d be too paranoid to personally.