(Closed) Wanting a wedding but family in 2 different states? Should I elope?

posted 7 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
3451 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

That’s tough.  Can you elope now and then have a party or reception sometime in the future when you can get everyone together?

Post # 4
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

You could elope and then just have special family dinners when you visit the respective families to celebrate. That’s awful that circumstances won’t allow them to come 🙁

Post # 5
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Wow.. that’s a really tough situation.  Can you have a small wedding there in TX & save enough to fly your immediate family down?  Or have it in WI & fly his family there?  Otherwise, I’d say elope & have it recorded.  That way you can come home & have a dinner in TX and one in WI and play the DVD of your wedding at both.

Post # 7
1106 posts
Bumble bee

Try scattered over the country!!!!

I know what you are going through, @ItsAmandaYall!  I have family in California, Illinois, Virginia and all over Florida (it takes about 8 hours to drive through the whole state of FL.).  He has family in Florida, Texas and Arizona.  While it’s not a lot of states, it’s certainly scattered and we might not even be living in Florida by the time rolls around!

If you have to wait 10 years though, that’s insane!  Could you try to do a courthouse thing and then have a party with each side of the family?

Post # 8
6123 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Our families are in completely different time zones and they are not travellers.  Then add on all sorts of other issues (new babies, ailing grandma, ailing father) and no one on my side was feeling like travelling and I could tell from our conversations.

Our plan right now is to go elope and make it our honeymoon – a weddingmoon!

Maybe on our 1st year anniversary we’ll throw a party and our families can actually meet for the first time at our house.  They have never met yet and probably never will if we don’t host some kind of party.


When I was married the first time, we eloped quickly, then each of our mother’s threw a celebration party in our respective states (again, we were scattered even withmy ex).  His mom threw a nice Italian style dinner that she cooked from scratch.  My mom threw a kegger with fried chicken that looked a lot like my high school graduation party.  None of the guests overlapped.  It would be silly to invite someone from 800 miles way to a fried chicken dinner, so they were each separate family related parties.  We were too poor to throw our own party honestly.  I highly did not like this idea at all.  I had no control and I was so embarrassed for the party my mom threw. 


So what are your thoughts on eloping – aka getting married pwithout guests right now?  Has it crossed your mind ever?  What is the first gut feeling you have?  Some either know right away if it’s NOT an option for them.


I’m also under the believe that wedding are very intimate, personal events.  Give people a break from spending money, time, vacation days on you by having them travel out.  I have been raised my whole life that marriages were really a PITA for everyone else involved.  You’ll be doing them a favor by eloping.

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