Post # 1
I lived in WI and just moved to TX where the FH’s family lives. Neither my family or his can travel at all. I can’t even get his family to visit us due to gas and they’re scattered through out TX. My family can’t come down here b/c my parents are living off of one income with 2 children under 5, and my other sister is unemployed and living with my gma who has congestive heart failure. So it seems like my only option is to elope. But, I still want the wedding with my family and flower girls. It seems a horrible idea to elope and have two “weddings” in TX with his family and then mine in WI. Do I have any other options? Elope and hope I don’t regret it? Wait 10 years till I can help my family save to come down here? FH doesn’t want to get married in WI, he wan’t to get married here and it wouldn’t be fair if we got married with my his family in attendence but not mine and vice versa..ugh! My mother just wants me to be happy and my gma just wants me to get married already.
Post # 3
That’s tough. Can you elope now and then have a party or reception sometime in the future when you can get everyone together?
Post # 4
You could elope and then just have special family dinners when you visit the respective families to celebrate. That’s awful that circumstances won’t allow them to come 🙁
Post # 5
Wow.. that’s a really tough situation. Can you have a small wedding there in TX & save enough to fly your immediate family down? Or have it in WI & fly his family there? Otherwise, I’d say elope & have it recorded. That way you can come home & have a dinner in TX and one in WI and play the DVD of your wedding at both.
Post # 6
@MsFoxxy: There’s about 6 people on his side and mine and if we paid for their flight that would be about $2000..not including food and hotel, plus having to work with my dad’s vacation time and dealing with traveling for my young sisters 2 and 4 and my gma’s health. Plus his gma is 82? she needs a wheel chair and his mother can’t walk and his mom and dad never married but his dad married someone else and according to his dad, his mother is still in love with him so talk about being ackward. Plus his aunt whom he’s close to has a 6 year old daughter. $2,000 would be out of pocket too b/c we’re trying to buy a home too and want children so every bit counts, plus I stay at home while he works too.
Post # 7
Try scattered over the country!!!!
I know what you are going through, @ItsAmandaYall! I have family in California, Illinois, Virginia and all over Florida (it takes about 8 hours to drive through the whole state of FL.). He has family in Florida, Texas and Arizona. While it’s not a lot of states, it’s certainly scattered and we might not even be living in Florida by the time rolls around!
If you have to wait 10 years though, that’s insane! Could you try to do a courthouse thing and then have a party with each side of the family?
Post # 8
Our families are in completely different time zones and they are not travellers. Then add on all sorts of other issues (new babies, ailing grandma, ailing father) and no one on my side was feeling like travelling and I could tell from our conversations.
Our plan right now is to go elope and make it our honeymoon – a weddingmoon!
Maybe on our 1st year anniversary we’ll throw a party and our families can actually meet for the first time at our house. They have never met yet and probably never will if we don’t host some kind of party.
When I was married the first time, we eloped quickly, then each of our mother’s threw a celebration party in our respective states (again, we were scattered even withmy ex). His mom threw a nice Italian style dinner that she cooked from scratch. My mom threw a kegger with fried chicken that looked a lot like my high school graduation party. None of the guests overlapped. It would be silly to invite someone from 800 miles way to a fried chicken dinner, so they were each separate family related parties. We were too poor to throw our own party honestly. I highly did not like this idea at all. I had no control and I was so embarrassed for the party my mom threw.
So what are your thoughts on eloping – aka getting married pwithout guests right now? Has it crossed your mind ever? What is the first gut feeling you have? Some either know right away if it’s NOT an option for them.
I’m also under the believe that wedding are very intimate, personal events. Give people a break from spending money, time, vacation days on you by having them travel out. I have been raised my whole life that marriages were really a PITA for everyone else involved. You’ll be doing them a favor by eloping.