(Closed) wanting to elope

posted 5 years ago in Money
Post # 16
61 posts
Worker bee

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mrswhitecat :  I agree with this comment! 


OP: If you have lived together for a year now without money issues that’s great . . . but you did it for a year where both of you were working and had an income. He has lost his job, and therefore about 50% of your household money (provided you both earn roughly equal amounts of money). Whether you have separate or joint bank accounts does not make a difference – he lost his job and now you are providing for both of you, regardless of it is from one bank account or seven. 


Regarding his wants: I get that there’s a reason for wanting family around at a wedding . . . I really do! It’s a big deal, but you guys just got engaged. And perhaps July is important to you but you guys are together do you have to, have to, have to get married in July 2017 or even in 2017 at all? If he’s going to work for himself, and you support that, maybe you should wait it out another year. I know waiting probably is the last thing you want to do but a life together is about sooooo much more than just one day. And do you really want to go into large amounts of debt for one day out of the rest of your lives? If legally being married is what really matters here what if you guys went to the courthouse and got married, and then when you have the funds to do so throw a huge part/reception for everyone? That way you can legally be married, and still have a huge party at some point to celebrate it. 


Even though you already live together, and especially because you do live together, borrowing a large (or even medium) amount of money to fund one day out of the next 20+ years of your life doesn’t really sound like a good idea and it kind of sounds like you, and even he, are much more interested in the wedding than the marriage. 

Post # 17
765 posts
Busy bee

can you have a small wedding in someone’s living room with homemade cake? That’s a option. I’m one of those people that feel it is ok to do something small and low key and invite people vs going away to elope if one of you wants to have people there.

That could be a good compromise. I’ve attended weddings like this and had a great time.

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