(Closed) Wanting to give up

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
Post # 18
Member
1300 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Well this took an unexpected turn……

Post # 19
Hostess
3830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Woah! I’ve been on the Bee for ages and this is a first! Small world, I know, but what are the odds that these women are really taking about the same man?!?

Post # 22
Member
12 posts
Newbee

heputaringonit :  yes I married him for better or worse in sickness and in health and I ment every word. I know that their is a good man I their and I love him and will fight for him.

Post # 23
Member
2778 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Dianna Dubendorf-Anderson :  you MAY want to change your username so it can’t be traced back to you in real life.

 

I figure there’s more than one 40 something man dating some 20 something woman under questionable conditions so here goes. To the OP: leave him. Run. Run and never look back. I know several men who act like yours does and when called out on it, they will readily admit to friends and family members that they NEVER want to remarry. They already had ‘the wife’ experience. They already have children. They do not want another marriage, children or anything. They do, however, want sex and companionship, sometimes even long term. But the possibility of a legal/social entanglement is OUT. He’s told you how he feels so RUN!

 

ETA: ah well the cottage with your dog sounds perfect!  

Post # 25
Member
1422 posts
Bumble bee

I honestly doubt these two women are talking about the same man. How many 40 something men with half grown children are there who date 20 something women. I’m sure there are tons. And from the original post it sounds like the 20 something woman was living with the 40 something man (since she had to find a place to live with her dog). It also sounds like a couple months ago the 20 something woman broke up with the 40 something man since she found a place to live with her dog.

I think the wife is a woman married (or divorced) to a cheater who is trying to figure out what is going on and fix things. Though I’d advise her that a cheating alcoholic who tells you about the person he cheats with is never going to change and never going to get better and you are better off without him.

Post # 26
Member
12 posts
Newbee

bumblebug :  he never told me to this day he still denies it.even after I but him on the phone with one of the other girls talked to he for 3days.  I found out he was talking to a a different girl online when he was 27. I was going though our daughter online activity and that’s how I found out. We don’t live together anymore we are separated. I got an apt in October and she the OP lived in our neighborhood with some of his friend I think, so it was convenient for them he wouldn’t go on vacations with us or go out anywhere. 

Post # 27
Member
1422 posts
Bumble bee

Dianna Dubendorf-Anderson :  Look, I don’t doubt that your husband is a cheater and an asshat. But this woman is not the woman he dated. The OP lived with this man for a long time and had been in a relationship with him for 3.5 years. She had an apartment with him and left that to live with her dog and family. She also broke up with him 2 months ago. I doubt your husband moved in with a woman in october, and had her move out to live with family in November because she broke up with him.

Plus, it seems that the man in this story gave the OP a ring last valentine’s day while they were sitting on their couch at their home. So it’s not your husband.

I would highly recommend you not trying to find the woman or women that your husband cheated on you with. No one deserves to be cheated on or to be with someone they can’t trust. You’ve moved out and separated your lives. That is a great first step. But you should keep up the momentum and dump his cheating ass. Your life will be better and more fulfilling when you don’t have someone you can’t trust in it.

And as a suggestion, you probably shouldn’t use your real full name on here. This is linked to your facebook and any of your friends, family, coworkers, etc could easily see this. Plus it gives others, who you don’t want to see your personal information, a window into your private life as you post details on here. Just some cyber security suggestions

Post # 28
Member
47193 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Dianna Dubendorf-Anderson :  You need to develop some self respect.

From your Facebook page:I hope she breaks your heart just like you broke mine. You are incapable of real love.Your not the good guy in fact opposite. If I ever get my hands on her she will pay for coming in between us she is a home wrecker. He will do to you what he does to everyone he will leave you to it just a matter of time. He always told me I was his favorite made me feel like I was the only one until I found proof that I wasn’t. So I hope you to have a great life. Lol

Why are you blaming her? Your husband is the one who betrayed you, not her, whoever she is. Your daughter doesn’t need you airing your personal business on social media with a link to your Facebook page. If you need therapy to move on from an ex-husband who broke your heart, get help. Acting out like this is not going  to make you feel any better.

Also from your Facebook page

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Post # 29
Member
1945 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Way too random that the OP would be connected to Dianna Dubendorf-Anderson : there are barely any unique identifying information in the original post. Did you just stumble upon this post and think “this sounds like my husband because he’s 42 and I think he’s cheating”? Incredibly far fetched. 

Post # 30
Member
12 posts
Newbee

Thanks for all the remarks but I’m not dumb and I wasn’t born yesterday. I am mad at both people but she kept seeing him even after she new he was married. I am the victim and so is she.

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