Wanting to just elope at this point.

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
208 posts
Helper bee

I haven’t experienced this myself but I would elope for sure. The stress would be completely off and there’s no chance someone’s negativity would ruin your day, assuming you ignore the angry calls and texts when you tell them the wedding is cancelled. Honestly it sounds so relaxing by comparison that eloping in Vegas is probably worth it.

Post # 3
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2019 - Huntsville, AL

I’m sorry this is happening to you, bee.

The way I see it, you can either 1) elope and have a wonderful time with your husband stressfree away from your family, or 2) have your backyard wedding with just his wonderful, supportive family and whoever does show up from yours. If your family is being flakey, forget them and move on, and focus on your husband’s family and friends who WILL be there for you, not acting like it’s an inconvience. 

I have had some family members express similar thoughts. “No one will be there, it’s too far away, you chose a bad location”, etc. It bothered me for a few days but at the end of it all, the people who are willing to make the effort for us are coming, and that was enough for me.

Post # 4
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Scotts ~ Walnut Creek

If guests have already made plans and accommodations to attend I think you should go through with the backyard wedding while focusing on those who are happy to be there and ignoring the stress bringers. But if your fiance would also like to elope and no one will be inconvenienced if you change the plan then that would be my choice. This isn’t a decision you should make without considering his feelings, its his day too.

Post # 5
1584 posts
Bumble bee

I would elope with a nice simple, stress free package!

Post # 6
925 posts
Busy bee

Ahh I’m sorry, bee. What exactly do you and your Fiance want in a wedding? We’re you truly wanting your families there or were you inviting them out of obligation? What if you changed it to a destination wedding where you invited both families to vegas and didn’t expect or “worry” about who could make it? I’m definitely not one to say just change things midway (destination especially) and I do think destinations are a bit inconsiderate, but if you’re ONLY inviting 15ppl and some clearly are for sure declining then maybe see what his family thinks? I would say consider helping your mom with accommodations, but she’s bringing down your happiness, which is never good. Of course you can always just elope and it would be stress free. 

Post # 7
131 posts
Blushing bee

Hey Bee a few months ago I posted about how unhappy I was planning my wedding. I had similar feels for different reasons. I came to the conclusion that my wedding is about me and my fiancé and that’s all that matters. Have the wedding you want, where you want it. If your family can’t make it for whatever reasons so be it. If your mother is not supportive than don’t mention anything about the wedding to her. Celebrate with people who are happy for you and who will make the time for your special day. 

Post # 8
10526 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

View original reply
aduarte0801 :  

Well I would be very ready to say ” just elope’ but for this “His family isn’t causing any drama they are very happy we are getting married!”  It seems a shame they  would be done out of of a happy event because your family  are being  so unpleasant .

So, I would go  on with your nice  little 15 person backyard wedding  , but I would absolutely not enter into any more discussion with your rmum, or anyody  else difficult   about it .  Shut down all and every negative comment with a  ” well, we’ll miss you then ‘ or similar   and change the subject firmly  and completely.  Every. Single. Time.

Post # 9
301 posts
Helper bee

Have your backyard wedding like you originally wanted to. Your family needs to step up and make arrangments to be there especially if they agreed to the March date a year before.  People will show up.  Tell you mom you don’t care either way because you are happy to get married and who ever wants to share that happiness can be there.  If she has her own issues about love tell her she can go see a therapist! 

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