(Closed) Warning a guest- was this rude of me?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1128 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I don’t think you were wrong at all, you were just letting them know how the night would go…no big deal!

Post # 4
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee

I don’t know if they were offended, but as a parent, I’d be glad to have the information you shared.  Knowing the plans and timetable would give me an idea of how to plan the day to keep my child engaged in activities to keep him busy.  Don’t worry, I think you did the right thing.  And, you are being gracious to include the boy.

Post # 5
Member
903 posts
Busy bee

That’s the problem with email. Sometimes things come across completely different that we meant them to. That they followed up with your FMIL suggests that they were offended, so I’d just try to be extra sweet at the wedding. No harm, no foul.

Post # 6
Member
11284 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@RedAngelDreamer:  you’re right.  the problem with email is that there is no tone, or the receiver can set the tone however they want.

Post # 7
Member
4047 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Did they actually tell you they were coming? it sounds from the post that you just emailed and assumed that. anyway, it seems a little rude to tell someone that you know they are bringing your kid, but by the way, its not kid friendly and here’s a bucnh of reasons why. they could have inferred most of that by the timeframe. i might have just stopped at telling them he would be the only kid there.

Post # 9
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I don’t want to make you feel bad, but when I read all you said, I felt as if you were micromanaging their child’s agenda at the wedding. By nine years, they probably know what to do with their kid at events, but the meal and cigar information seemed helpful.

I’m sure you were polite, as you sounded very polite in your post here. Upon reading your post again, I came away with maybe you are just sensitive to him having a good time. They might not have given it a second read, so…

But this is all very minor. Any type of way that the instructions made them feel, I’m sure they’ll get over it by the wedding. That’s really a petty thing to get an attitude with you about, so….

I’d just go on with life, knowing that I meant well, if I were you. If it gets brought up, just apologize for making anyone feel any kind of way and smile and move to the next topic.

 

 

Post # 10
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I had a similar situation and the mom was really happy I was so thoughtful. My ringbearer and his little brother both go to bed at like…630, but our rehearsal dinner is only at 730…so I sent his mom a message and just said that I was in no way trying to tell her not to bring the boys to the rehearsal dinner but it would be at 730, in case she did want to get a sitter in order to prevent any grumpiness the next day. She was really glad I let her know and decided to keep the younger one home no matter what, and my ring bearer will come if he takes a nap haha.

If these ppl are offended they probably couldn’t tell if you were trying to be helpful or just trying to say he’s invited but probably shouldn’t come because of x, y, z. like PP said…just apologize if they bring it up and move on…let them know that if cousin johnny needs anything, let *someone other than you* know.

Post # 11
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@candykiss:  They were lucky you made an exception for them and warned them about what it was going to be like – nobody else got that.  Don’t read into it.

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