(Closed) Warning – Bitter Bee Vent

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2411 posts
Buzzing bee

@endofmyrope:  

 

The truth of the matter is that you all shouldn’t feel sad for me.  My faith comforts me and I truly believe that there is divine purpose to life.  In the end things will work out in my favor one way or another.

 

 

You go, girl! You have the right attitude. You are going to be fine!

🙂

Post # 4
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee

@endofmyrope:  Hey congrats on your attitude!!! the list keeper bee sent me a message also….to see if i wanted to remain on the list or be erased….all i could think of was…sweet Jesus how long ago did i join? how long have i been waiting?, has there been any progress?? should i give it up?? … my boyfriend is sooo secretive these days…..we haven´t fought for at least 4 months because of this “the getting engaged topic” but i couldn´t say we have talked about it much ether….. anyway it has helped me stop obsessing….once again i am really enjoying my relationship and i´m grateful for that….i decided to stay too….but your positive take on this sets an example for me.

Post # 5
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I am glad you are deciding to take matters into your own hands and take control of your life. I do hope he comes to his senses and proposes soon!

Post # 6
Member
1328 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Just make sure he knows your June deadline, and that you’re serious about it.  Maybe realizing that he really could lose you will give him the kick in the butt to move forward.  And if not, then you get to move on with your life.  You sure do have the right attitude about this!

Post # 7
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

@Kit_Kath:  I agree with this. If he doesn’t know about your June deadline, you can’t expect him to follow it. I know that’s almost a moot point considering you’ve been waiting 8 long years and he’s had plenty of chances to propose, but giving him fair warning might help things along.

Post # 8
Member
1576 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

WAY TO GO! i AM PROUD OF YOU FOR TAKING A STAND FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR VALUES!

Post # 9
Member
253 posts
Helper bee

Yea you do what you have to do.. you are looking out for yourself and your best interest… I mean men sometimes get too comfy and they dont want to change anything

Post # 10
Member
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

good for you! i have a date set in my mind as well, the middle of july, and just having it has given me a lot of peace.

it’s true that they deserve time to be ready. but when we’ve been ready for so long and know that getting married is something we want, it becomes unfair to us.

i’m really proud of you for standing up for yourself. you deserve to be happy and deserve to feel fully loved, and if he isn’t doing those things, you can find someone who will.

Post # 11
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee

I disagree with the idea that men “deserve time to be ready”, for several reasons.

1: A lot of men have gone way past having “time to be ready” and into “stringing someone along”. Eight years is ridiculous.

2: It’s fair for a man to not want to marry a particular woman. What’s NOT fair is for him to string the woman along by saying “I love you (but not enough to marry you)”, “I’ll be ready soon (but he isn’t)”, “I’ll propose by the end of the year (but he doesn’t)”, etc.

 

If he would admit that he doesn’t want to marry her and break up with her, then she could move on and find someone who does. What I find awful is the way that men create false hope and string women along when deep down they have no intention of marrying them, they’re just buying time by telling any old lies.

My SO keeps saying he wants marriage and a family in his future, he just isn’t ready for commitment, blah blah… he keeps stringing me along with false hope, instead of just admitting that he doesn’t love me and breaking up with me so it’s easier for me to walk away! Now he’s put me in the situation of having to decide whether I’m capable of leaving someone who wants to be with me and treats me nicely but won’t marry me 🙁

Post # 12
Member
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Fiberoptic:  i agree with pretty much all of your post. sorry you’re in such a sucky position…. wish i had advice. :/

Post # 13
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree with what  @Fiberoptic:  said. And I applaud you @endofmyrope:  for knowing what you want in your life and taking control. 

Post # 14
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

Hope it all works out.Laughing

Post # 15
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Backyard

I would do the same thing in that situation. 8 years is definitely long enough, especially if he won’t comfortably have the conversation. Good for you for taking control of the situation! 🙂

The topic ‘Warning – Bitter Bee Vent’ is closed to new replies.

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