(Closed) *warning* major waiting rant ahead!

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I had been with my SO for 7 years, when his younger brother got engaged to his gf of 8 months.  They were 10 years younger than us, and I felt like they didn’t deserve it.  I had been expecting an engagement at any time.  I’ll never forget the moment I found out – like someone punched me in the stomach.  I cried all night.  

Long story short, they got married 2 years before us, and are already divorced.  When your time comes, having waited longer will make you a stronger, happier couple.  I am sorry you are going through this!

Post # 4
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

I share your feelings today. I’m sorry to hear it’s happening to you too.

Post # 5
Member
3688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Think about the positives — you will be getting engaged soon to a man you love, and your sister will also be getting engaged to a man that she loves. Everybody’s relationships happen on their own timeline, and unfortunately you can’t go back and change the past. Hopefully this will be an exciting time that both of you can share together.

Post # 6
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Not sure if this will help but here goes part of my story: SO and I have been together for 5.5 years (bought a house together 1.5 years ago).  I wouldn’t bring up engagement/wedding day topics although we’d talk about things that happen years down the married road. 

Around Christmas his older brother and wife started having MAJOR problems after 10 years of marriage.  It made my SO want to start looking at rings.  Maybe something to do with the turmoil they were putting each other through and he was trying to make sense of it?  Not sure but after that he got motivated to want to know what I liked in a ring.

Post # 8
Member
1652 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Ugh I know that feeling and it sucks! My annoying younger cousin who seems to have been handed everything in life on a plate was with her boyfriend less time than me; first moved in with him a year before me, then they got engaged and married while I was still waiting and living with my then boyfriend, then while I was engaged announced her pregnancy.

I literally flipped after the engagement phone call, I was borderline hysterical and just had to sit on the beach by myself and throw pebbles to calm down. It happens to the best of us!

I hope you feel a bit better.

Post # 9
Member
1541 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’m so sorry you’re going through this! I don’t have younger siblings, but I’ve seen younger people in shorter relationships around me get engaged and it blows! Try you’re best to feel better and know it’s coming soon! <3

Post # 10
Member
361 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@VikingPrincess:  I’m 25 and married and my brother is 33 and still not married.

But here is the flipside.  We don’t have a car. We don’t have a house (we rent). We don’t even have a pet!  We won’t be “settled” for at least two more years, even though we are married.  Yea, you aren’t engaged YET. But you will be 🙂  And think about how much more settled you’ll be when you get married 🙂

Post # 11
Member
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’d rather be with someone for 4 years and be absolutely 100% ready and sure about the person than to be with someone for 6 months and rush into something. At that point you’re probably still in the honeymoon stage of the relationship and don’t have a feeling of how things will be once that stage ends. I don’t think being happy and ready to get married while still in that butterfly stage is a good indication of whether the relationship will endure long term.

Fiance and I got engaged after dating for 10 years. Granted, we started dating at 15, but I know a ton of people that got engaged/married in their late teens/early 20s after being together for a ‘short’ period of time and most of them are divorced! My mother and stepfather got married after dating for 8 months and I still say that Fiance and I knew each other 1000% better after 5 years of dating than my parents did when they got married. Shortly after their honeymoon stage ended they sure had a hard time accepting each other’s “flaws” that they weren’t previously familiar with.

At least you know your Boyfriend or Best Friend will be proposing soon. I understand that it sucks to hear that your younger sis is getting engaged before you, but I think that there are two ways of looking at that and I personally would rather be in your position…

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