(Closed) Warning: May be too much for some. Still born pictures on FB?

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
46675 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

They have suffered a loss and are grieving in the only way they know how. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

Post # 4
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

The grief is clearly blinding them. I think it’s really inappropriate and someone should point this out to them..

Post # 5
Member
3788 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Grief is a very personal thing, and everyone handles it differently. Maybe that is helping them. I knew an older couple whose daughter was born with severe disabilities, and they cared for her until she passed away in her late 30s. They were older by then, and they carried a picture of her in her coffin with them and had it out during church services. It’s a little disconcerting, but it’s none of my business. That being said, I think everyone has a right NOT to be confronted by another person’s grief, and I think the facebook feed is taking it too far. You couldn’t choose to look away until it was too late because it pops up. I would never say anything to them about it, and I am sure they are not necessarily thinking clearly given the sad circumstances, but no, I don’t think that’s a good choice.

Post # 6
Member
5147 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’ve never been pregnant, so obviously never lost a baby either. But I can’t even imagine what she’s going through.

I don’t think anyone can judge her actions, especially not those that haven’t lost a baby.

She’s grieving, people grieve in different ways.

Post # 7
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

This may be helping them during their grieving by acknowleding that this was their child, even though the baby didn’t live. It seems to be common for people to want to hide these tragedies never to be mentioned again. I don’t see it as being “off” that they felt the need to share these images on Facebook.

Post # 9
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I think taking a picture, sure, for the privacy of your home or album. But to post this on FB? I don’t know. I would think someone wouldn’t understand and comment saying something like “Congrats on the baby!” And that would just launch the grieving process back the the beginning. Poor couple. I feel bad for them. 

Post # 11
Member
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

 Being 1 week away from my 20th week I cannot imagine! I agree that theres no right or wrong way to grieve but there is an appropriate way. While we will never (hopefully) know what they are going through, they have no idea what posting something so awful might do to someone else watching. A dead baby is an incredible personal thing. Its perfectly normal to take pictures holding it and bonding but usually those photos are for a very personal keepsake. I do find it a little odd. Actually very odd. Facebook is so….public and “cold” maybe?? I just couldnt ever put my still born up like that.

 Yes to each their own. But for me personally, theres no way. Way to heartbreaking to be made so public.

Post # 12
Member
489 posts
Helper bee

I can’t even begin to imagine what they must be feeling, and I suppose it is true that people cope in different ways. My biggest fear in this situation would be for someone who hasn’t been informed of the situation to come across the picture and make a comment about the arrival of their baby. It would be uncomfortable to say the least.

When I first read your post title, I was expecting for the pictures they posted to be graphic or distrubing of just a still born child, but after reading your post, I can see how a picture of them holding the baby together makes a little more sense. I don’t know if it is something I would, just considering it is very personal, but I have never even been close to that situation so I am sure it is very different being in their place.

Post # 13
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Hmm this is kind of a tough one. One on hand I understand this is a form of the grieving process for them, but on the other hand, I find it just too personal to post on facebook. Although I think a lot of people post far too personal status comments, etc on facebook anyway. I feel for this friend of yours and their loss. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, but I do think it is a bit too much to post on a social networking site. Just my opinion…

Post # 14
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@UpstateCait:    My husband and I just found out that I have ovarian problems and that any future pregnancy could be high risk I place myself in that couples life and imagine going through the 9 months all excited and to finally have it end so painfully.

I do not know if I would have gone that route but I might see why because they posted the photo grief, this baby was part of their family, and sharing their grief with others.

Post # 16
Member
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I think it’s not comfortable for others to see, but I don’t think it’s totally beyond the pale. I can’t imagine how hard it would be to lose a baby, and to never even have a chance to celebrate its birth before you’re grieving its death. Maybe posting these photos is the parents’ way of doing just a little bith of both.

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