I was in an abuse relationship for 6 years. Here’s my story..
I was your average teen acting out occasionally, had issues with my parents, like all teens do. Then I met him, i was just 17 years old, he was 20. I was young and i fell in love with a badboy. He promised me he wold give me the world. He made me beleive that, only he could love me the way he does. Only he could be there for me and protect me. That my parents did’nt really care about me, that they didn’t want me to be happy..and with his eyes, his eyes that just made you beleive evrything he said was from his heart, so sincerely..
The first time he ever hurt me was so unexpectidly, the phone rang, it was my cousin, i said i would call him later and when i hung up, he pushed me really hard and i fell back against a nightstand and banged my back and head. He hugged me told me he was so sorry, he just didnt like when i talk to other guyz. He could never hurt me intentionnally. Next day..he was at my house, someone rang the doorbell, i answered it. It was a salesman for some product, i told him that it was a bad time, he left. I closed the door. Turned around, he was chocking me. He thought it was someone i was sleeping with thats why i said bad time.
Thats as just the tip of the iceburg. I tried to leve then, but he became obessed with me. I became his doll, he took my virginity, he owned me, i was his proprety he’d alwayz like to say.
So i acted out more at home, and eventually got kicked out, my mom said after begging me to leave him, that he was changing me and if i chose to stay with him, to leave. So i did. At that point he was living on the street, so thats where i went.
I eventually came back home and he just bounced around from place to place.
During that time, i would get a hit here and the for x reasons, my attitude or the way i said something, i wasn’t allowed to walk with my head up, cause he thought i wanted everyone that walked by us. I wasnt allowed to watch tv or movies because i wanted the men on tv, but he would do it in a way that would make him look good and me like an idiot. To other ppl he was such a great guy, behind closed doors he was not. He tried secluding me from my family, he already was capablee of secluding me from my friendz.
I mean it didnt happen all the time where he would beat me, but there was rules and if they werent being respected……
Yet he cheated on me many times, dissapeared for days sometimes, but i got treated like i did something wrong!
But yet he was still my protector against other ppl, he bought me nice thingz(with my own money)lol He taught me many thingz, he alwayz had an answer for my 1000 of questions about the world, we had a special bond, but with a dark secret..
He wanted us to get an appartment together, but i always came up with excuses i knew if i was alone at all times with him…I was scarred..
But then, the unexpected, i got pregnant..He was so happy he wanted a child..I wasnt allowed on birth control or condoms cause that meant i was cheating..
I was 20, we were living together and here we are with a newborn babyboy..
The fighting stopped, he hadnt really hit me, except when he threw me across the bathroom when i was 7 months pregnant right up against the tub.. I remember begging and screaming “please our baby our baby!!!! He stopped.
So here we are new little family everythings going perfect..Then it starts again..First the cheating, then the dissapearing.. Then the pysical abuse again, i had 2 broken noses, 2 black eyes, a swollen neck from all the chocking, bruses, busted lips ect… Again, it wasnt a daily thing, only if i somehow set off a trigger, its like he would change into a different person almost..It was scarry, i wanted to leave but i was trapped..I was even more his property now that we had a child.
I was at home most of the time alone with our son already, when what do you know, im pregnant again. I thought of abortion, but at this point i had only my son to keep me sane and now i was gonna have two children to love and who will love me seing he cut ties with all my riends and most my family..My mother had no idea what i was going through(abuse)..although she suspected it, coming from an abusive relationship herself with my father when she had me..Till this day, i have not been honest with her, i dont wanna put her throght the pain of her knowing i went through what she did, but worse alot worse.
When i told her i was pregnant again she said “Ask yourself this question, can you raise a child alone? Without him? I knew it would take every once of sweta, blood and tears.. I knew i was strong enough.
So here i akm with a new babygirl, and i am so in love with her, happy i didnt go through an abortion. The abuse stopped while i was pregnant but continued shortly after i gave birth..
He was cheating, his excuse cause i just gave birth i was bleeding and it hurt..So he found other girls..
I never called the police because where im from, even if you call the police, they are let go shorly after. And if they go to jail, its not for very long, they will come back and they will get you. I was terrified, i wanted to leave, it wasnt safe. Now that i had his kids, i was his and they were his and nothing would take that away from him.
But i moved to a different city for a short while to a family memebers house. He eventually found a girl he fell for and i knew it was safe to come back home.
I eventually moved out of our appartment, meanwhile he was bringing girls into our house. But once i began a new life with my kids, he was slowly dissapearing from there lives.
Its been 4 years, that i was able to break free. My daughter asked me just the other day why she doesnt see her daddy anymore and how its not fair every other little girl has a daddy and not her..It broke my heart..He doesnt do a damn thing for them, except when he is with his girlfriend(on and off). Which will bring me to my final subject.. Its hard very hard taking care of children on your own trying to finish your education and be a full time mother, but i do it because I know that I gave my all and more to my children!!!
He changed his ways so he says and i was able to maintain a civil relationship with him..He talks to me abouut her sometimes, says shes crazy and he makes her angry but he promises he doesnt lay his hands on her…She has reached out to me several times, he is beating her worse than me, although me and her have had issues in the past for misunderstandings through him, we were finally able to talk and im very concerned for her. She is in the situation i was in, but she is so lost in his brainwashing..
I want to help her, i feel its my duty for some reason, i dont want anything to happen to her..He needs to be stopped, enough already..I dont know where he lives or where she lives, i dont know where he works nothing..What do i do?