Warning trigger (child loss)

posted 1 year ago in Rings
  • poll: Birthstones yes or no
    Yes : (5 votes)
    11 %
    No : (14 votes)
    31 %
    Just hers : (26 votes)
    58 %
  • Post # 16
    5964 posts
    Bee Keeper

     meliamartinez31 :  I followed your other thread, but I never posted a comment in it. Words can’t express how sorry I am for your loss. I cried reading your other thread — not from any sort of trigger, but just a mother-to-mother feeling of my heart going out to you, your husband, and even your two boys who never got to meet their beautiful sister face-to-face. I wish I could reach through the internet and give you a hug. (Which sounds kinda creepy as I type it out. But I don’t mean it in a creepster way.) I think your ring idea is a beautiful way to remember your sweet girl. How very special to have a little, tangible part of her next to you every single day.

    I may be in the minority, but I love the third ring. It strikes me as a piece that would go with any type of outfit and would be beautiful for any type of occasion, from everyday wear to even a dressier sort of occasion. Before looking at the example pictures, I voted “Yes” on including all the stones. I agree that seeing the stones on every part of the feather might be a little over the top. It might also make the ring something that isn’t as easy for everyday wear, due to the possibility of losing stones.

    As for whether to include all the birthstones on the ring, I think that depends on what you, in your heart, want the ring to be. If you want it to be a mother’s ring, including all the birthstones seems appropriate. If you want it to be more of a memorial just for your daughter, it would be beautiful just with her birthstone. If you decided to do stones for all of your children, I think you could easily line them along the center (the shaft of the feather) without ending up with a finished ring that looks too “glitzy”. In looking at the top two pictures, you could probably do the same thing with those designs: a discreet and lovely line of three or four birthstones along the central shaft.

    Post # 17
    48 posts
    • Wedding: July 2018

    I’m so sorry for your loss and I think this is a beautiful way to keep your daughter close to you everywhere you go. I voted for just her birthstone if any at all… the reason being (I’m not a mother yet) I do a lot with my mum that my brother is not involved with and with jewelry and your specific design (which I love) being very feminine I think it’s special to have this just for you and your daughter if that makes sense. Either way I’m sure it will be beautiful. Sending virtual hugs x

    Post # 20
    6566 posts
    Bee Keeper

    You are doing the ashes mixed into the gold/metal right? I think this really speaks to just a HER ring. I like your idea of no stones, just metal. I really like the look of the top 2,but I think the more wearable option is the bottom one. I think DK could probably combine them somehow though.

    Post # 22
    1142 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    Firstly, very very sorry for your loss x

    Secondly, this is a beautiful idea. I vote no stones but I based that on my personal preference. This is your ring, bee. You should get whatever you think is beautiful and suits your tastes. I will say though that if you do go for birth stones, id only do hers. Have this be something special just between the two of you. 


    If it helps, you don’t need to feel bad about not including your other children. My mum wore a locket with my sisters hair in it. We were young but we understood the significance.

    Post # 23
    491 posts
    Helper bee

    meliamartinez31 :  I’m sorry for your loss. ❤

    I agree with you on just a ring for your daughter. I like the idea of a stone hidden inside too. And for wearability I too would pick the 3rd (although I think the second is beautiful). A wrap around design is so lovely. The details aren’t exactly right on that ring but I think he can come up with a better design. That’s the direction I personally would go in. But I’d want something I could wear daily that isn’t a fragile design. 

    Post # 24
    102 posts
    Blushing bee

    I’m so sorry for your lost.

    I find it a beautiful thing to want to remember her forever, and the idea of birthstone rings. I can’t advice on the stones since I’m more into dainty rings, but if ever you are interested there are some beautiful dainty feather wrap rings I know from Alex Monroe, like this one or this one. Or with both feathers and gemstone.

    Otherwise, if you are afraid that your other children feels like you care more about your daughter, you can always wear a stone for each child. This is easy to pull with dainty rings.

    I wish you the best.



    Post # 25
    159 posts
    Blushing bee

    I’m so sorry and sad to hear of your loss. Sending you love and strength, I know you’ll carry her in your heart forever. 

    I voted for no stones as I feel like the feather or wings are quite intricate and beautiful on its own. You could even have two wings resting on top of each other (https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRgCj92bj3o-A9RpLds7C-rpVYmhWIgZ79q0_VqNJ4X2a8UwMR11A) or folded into the shape of a heart (http://top-angels.blogspot.com).

    Another idea is to engrave her birth date in Roman numerals on the inside. 🙂 

    Post # 26
    102 posts
    Blushing bee

    lolcat :  Oooh actually the “secret” engraving sounds like a very nice idea ^^. It’s lowkey, subtle but actually very powerful in signification. You know that it’s there 🙂

    Post # 27
    159 posts
    Blushing bee

    tinyelf :  Thanks tinyelf! I saw a friend of mine with a necklace of her son’s birthday in Roman numerals, which gave me the idea. 🙂

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