Post # 1
I have a question 🙂 I am not yet engaged but my Boyfriend or Best Friend has a ring and I am anticipating a proposal somewhere around New Years. I am beyond excited but I have a feeling that my parents have no idea this is coming. We are 24 and I am still in grad school but we will probably have a longish engagement (maybe 1.5 to 2 years). My parents love my Boyfriend or Best Friend and I know they think we will get engaged eventually but I am worried they are not expecting it right now.
So my question- Did any of you warn your parents that an engagement was coming? Or let them know that your SO would be asking for their blessing soon? If so, did it make things go more smoothly?
I guess I am just worried about what they are going to say. I am their first child to get married and they are sometimes a little protective of me. But I don’t know if warning them would be the best idea. Maybe I should just let Boyfriend or Best Friend deal with it on his own 😉
Thanks for your help!
Post # 3
I think the perfect “warning” is your Boyfriend or Best Friend asking your father for your hand in marriage.
Post # 4
Have you talked to your bf about if he is going to ask for your parents blessing? If he sits down and talks to them about wanting to marry you then shouldn’t that be enough notice? If they really like him then they will be thrilled for you both. =)
Post # 5
Agree with PP’s, if the Boyfriend or Best Friend is going to ask for your hand, that should give them time to think about it between when he asks and the actual proposal. And, btw, ALMOST CONGRATS 🙂
Post # 6
I wouldn’t – my mom’s surprise when I called to tell her was awesome. 🙂 (My Fiance asked my dad, but asked him not to mention it to my mom because she would tell me, so glad he did that!)
Post # 7
I told my mom ahead of time just to settle her down since we were also in the process of buying a house while our ring was being made and I think it made her feel better to know that we’d be engaged before we moved in (and, although still “living in sin” hahahha, we’d be living in just a little less sin, apparently).
I didn’t tell my Dad in advance, but my Fiance did ask for his blessing (which was like 100% guaranteed since my parents love him). So, I really only “warned” one of them. 🙂
Post # 8
@MapleMoose: yes, he is definitely going to ask for their blessing. My parents are pretty traditional and I really think they would be offended if he didn’t! But you are totally right, that should be enough warning and I think they would be happy to hear it form him first! Thanks!
@seahorsey:Thank you 🙂 And I agree, I think they will be surprised when he asks but hopefully very excited!!
@elizabeth2004:HAHA my mom would totally be the same way! I doubt she would be able to keep a secret!
@Juliepants: HAHA oh gosh, my parents would be freaking out as well if we were trying to move in together. I definitely have to wait for an engagement for that one! 🙂
Thanks for everyones comments 🙂 I think I am just going to let my Boyfriend or Best Friend handle “the talk” and we will see how it goes. I think it’s the nerves of knowing that the proposal is coming that is getting me all worked up! I need to calm down and enjoy the moment 🙂 Thanks again everyone!
Post # 9
I told my parents that my fiance was going to ask for their blessing a few months before he proposed. My dad told me a few weeks before he proposed that he wanted to just give him the permission so that he’ll ask me already! haha! I told him ‘no, let him ask you.’ My fiance asked him two days before he proposed to me. He showed my parents the ring and everything. Actually, EVERYONE knew I was getting proposed to, but me.
Post # 10
@Peony007:Aww thats so cool that everyone knew! Part of me wants to warn them like you did but I don’t even know how to bring it up!
Post # 11
If he’s going to ask their blessing I’d just let him handle it. My Fiance didn’t ask and I wouldn’t have wanted him to anyway, so for me my parents knew we were serious to the point of marriage but the acutal engagement was a slight surprise. It was sort of fun telling my mom though, since she didn’t already know 🙂
Post # 12
I specifically asked my Fiance NOT to ask my dad for permission so I hinted at the idea to my parents myself. If he’s going to ask, though, I think you’ve got it covered.
Post # 13
As soon as SO put a deposit down on my e-ring I gave my parents the heads up so to speak. SO doesn’t know that they know, but they don’t know the when (like me!) it will happen so it should still be a surprised, but they will be aware it’s coming at the same time.
Post # 14
We were in a similar situation (still in school, so I don’t think my parents thought it was coming in the immediate future). My husband went over to my parents’ house to ask for their blessing before he proposed, and they were so surprised/excited. My mom was so happy she cried. I SO wish I would’ve been there to see it! Haha.
Anyway, he showed them the ring and everything and I had no idea any of it had happened! I think it was a great way for him to start becoming “part of the family” (they all had a secret they were keeping from me together!).
Post # 15
I wouldn’t tell them youself before the actual engagement. Having your boyfriend ask for their blessing may be a better way to go. Perhaps you could have a talk with your mom about “I think he may be the one…” without talking engagement and see how she reacts to ease some of your fears. 🙂 Besides, popping the question is often a surprise so I don’t think they’ll mind not being “warned” about it.
We tend to worry too much what our parents will think. Chances are they’re expecting it sooner or later and are going to be happy for you and supportive.
Post # 16
@BonbonBunny:I really think you nailed it on the head. I think I am just too worried about what my parents are going to think. I have always wanted to make them happy and have them approve of me and I think this is the time where I need to start letting things go a little bit. I have talked to my mom about him being “the one” so maybe she is expecting it a little more than I think she is! Thanks for your help 🙂