(Closed) was anybody else treated like sh** when they got engaged?

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 3
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Don’t make/let your MIL pay for your wedding. She’s a bitch and will never let you guys live it down if she pays for anything in the wedding. Pay for it yourself.

Post # 4
3028 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Booooooo. She is lame.

It sounds like your FBIL is a good guy, so you between your FI, your FBIL, and your own family, you have support. You may just have to go with that and accept that your FMIL isn’t going to be wonderful. That sucks.

Focus on the wedding! And one good thing: since she isn’t paying anything, you basically don’t need to discuss one darn thing with her! ha!

Post # 6
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

This made my blood boil to read. That’s not fair to you and your FI at all.


Post # 7
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I would just let her bad attitude roll off your shoulders and make sure NOT to include her in any decisions like dress shopping, flowers, etc. As far as she is concerned, she is a GUEST at the wedding and nothing more.

If she complains about it just say “We’re not planning on sharing that information with our guests.”

Post # 8
2058 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@brooklyn_bee:  some people are just so miserable with their lives they make it their life goal to shit on someone’s good day. 

Keep your head up and show her no matter how hard she tries, her opinion doesn’t matter. We have someone in our family like this and fortunately her sister makes it HER life goal to put her in her place. 

Post # 9
1651 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@brooklyn_bee:  Your FBIL and his FI sound awesome. Seriously, he and your FI sound like stand-up guys for telling their mom to stop being a jerk. Same goes for your mom for standing in your corner like that.

As for FMIL just ignore her. It could be that she had always had issues with you (you didn’t mention whether this behavior is new or not) or it could just be that she’s having trouble coping with the idea that her little boys will both be married men by the end of next year. It can be a tough adjustment to make, but it is no excuse for treating you guys in such a manner.

Post # 12
4778 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@brooklyn_bee:  my parents and i (well us) will be paying for the wedding. all she has to do is show up.

Good then.  Stop informing her on any detail whatsoever, just send her an invite when the time comes.  I wouldn’t entertain this woman, and that’s what yo’re doing.  Perhaps also find a new job. I couldn’t imagine working with my MIL especial one like yours.

Post # 14
842 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@brooklyn_bee:  I wouldn’t involve her in any planning or tell her any details unless she explicitly asks. For some reason when a couple gets engaged everyone suddenly has all these opinions and act like what you’re doing is crazy despite the fact that billions of people have been married throughout time. It’s ridiculous. I totally understand why you’re feeling this way and hope things get better!

Post # 15
1303 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Ugh, so sorry you had to deal with that! I know how it is.  My FMIL didn’t congratulate us, tried to convince FI not to propose, then grilled me on finances and suggested we don’t have a wedding because of my student loans.  She also didn’t tell any of FI’s extended family about the engagement because it was “something he did so he should tell them,” yet e-mailed everyone and their mom when he got his master’s degree. She’s never liked me (or anyone FI has dated; taking my baby away syndome), but I didn’t expect her to be so obviously hostile!

Honestly, the only thing to do is let it roll off you. Know that it doesn’t at all reflect on you or who you are as a person, only her screwed-up issues. Smile, be nice, and let anything negative she says go in one ear and out the other.  Focus on all of the people who are supportive and excited!


Post # 16
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@brooklyn_bee:  I’m so sorry! I think you guys just need to ignore her. Has she always been this rude to you?

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