Post # 1
I need all your help. I’m having a small intimate family wedding (30 people) ALL FAMILY. I invited my Future SIL and her Fiance, turns out that her Fiance has some army related training and might not be able to attend our wedding
She instead wants to RSVP for 2 and bring a guest in the case that her fiance cannot attend.
I do not want her bringing an outsider to my wedding.. is this wrong to ask her to attend solo or not attend at all. Like I said it’s strictly family event.
Please let me know what to do. I need advice.
Thanks in advance
Post # 2
Not wrong at all. It’s clearly not about money or numbers. It’s about what you and your FI want for your day and who you want to be around. It’s acceptable to ask her not to bring some rando to your event… she should understand this. It’s not like she’s not going to know anyone there!
I would explain that delicately to her, or perhaps get your FI to tell her if they’re closer.
Post # 3
CG4268: Who does she plan on bringing???????? If she is your FSIL then won’t she have family members to hang out with at thr wedding? I can understand wanting a plus one if you will know no one at the event, but in this case I really don’t get it…………
Post # 4
californiabride2013: No Clue. I’m guessing a friend? Her aunts uncles/ parents/siblings and their spouses will be there, so there is no other family members to invite..
winterwoodlandbride15: I think I’m going to leave this to the Groom to sort out. I can’t handle delicatly.. i go straight into bridezilla mode lol
Post # 5
I’m having a similar wedding and totally get you. I would just explain to her that you really are having family only, and so if her FI can’t make it the invitation isn’t open ended to bring whoever she wants. I can’t imagine a reasonable person getting mad about that. Does she realize how small the wedding is???
Post # 6
Just tell her no. With that small of a wedding just kindly tell her that you both decided only to have a few people you know there and that if her FI is unable to make it that you would like to have one of your friends rather than someone you are not close with.
Post # 7
I guess I don’t see what the big deal is if she brings someone else. I don’t know what kind of wedding you are having but I can see wanting someone else to chat/dance with if my SO couldn’t make it to an event. Maybe it is someone you know even if it’s not family. I assume that my sister will bring one of her close friends to my wedding and even though they aren’t quite family, we’ve known him forever. It’s close enough that I don’t care even though I would have never invited him on his own.
Post # 8
SeaRhapsody: The issue is that we had to cut out extended family to make it a FAMILY only event, because that’s what we wanted. to be surrounded by people who supported our relationship and life together. There are extended families that we could’ve invinited but chose not to. We invited couples only with single family members without a plus one, so it would come across strangely, and honestly I dont want one of HER friends to be at the wedding, beacuse like I said it’s Family only. All of her siblings, aunts and uncles (traveling from far away to be there who she doesn’t see) and her niece will be there.. her and I dont share friends, and neither does her and the groom so it’ll be her guest, and not someone we know.
Post # 9
The invitation, I assume, was addressed to FSIL and her FI, not FSIL and whoever she darn well pleases. You don’t get to send someone in your place if you can’t make it.
Post # 10
SeaRhapsody: Maybe you misread but OP does not want someone she doesnt know at her SMALL wedding of THIRTY guests.
Post # 11
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
Just let your FI deal with it. Hopefully he will nip it in the bud.
Post # 12
CG4268: I agree with PPs, let your FI handle it, but she will know pretty much everyone there! I don’t think she needs to bring ‘company’ if her FI can’t attend!
Post # 13
@purrrbaby: I didnt misread at all. You are assuming it’s someone she doesn’t know, when in fact she doesn’t know who the sister in law plans to invite. I get it’s a small wedding but really isn’t the most important thing that your guests are comfortable. I’m assuming that since it’s her sister in law that her fiance could at least talk to her and find out what the deal is. I would certainly ask my sister/brother who they planned to invite in this situation and if it truly intolerable then speak up (and by that I mean I someone that I truly hate). If not I would probably be okay with it since I already budgeted for that number of ppl and I don’t think seeing an extra face would spoil my experience. But that’s me, Op is of course free to do whatever she wants.