Post # 16
Some guys do talk about stuff like that at work, so I doubt he made that up entirely, but he may have brought it up to guage your reaction a bit.
That said, since you guys haven’t talked about it openly I doubt it’s right around the corner. Some guys will hint around it before bringing it up directly to see how you’ll react, but I think it’s pretty rare for guys to actually propose before having more concrete discussions about your expectations.
You say that you’ve both talked about wanting marriage and children in general, but have you talked about wanting them together? Or when you want them? Most people talk about those details for several months before proposing.
Post # 17
- Wedding: April 2022 - Milwaukee, WI
Woah, whats with all the negativity?? These boards are supposed to be fun. Let’s not pretend we don’t all ask “strangers on the internet” for advice, because thats literally the point of these boards…
He was clearly hinting because he was looking for what your reaction would be, Bee. Don’t let the rest of the negative, jealous bees get to you. It does sound promising, but don’t put a lot of pressure into this weekend. If you’re 9 months in, maybe he’s planning it for the 1 year mark? Try not to bring it up too much, and let him surprise you!
Either way, please ignore the catty girls that feel the need to comment when they have no intention of being helpful…
Post # 18
Lol, no one here is jealous.
The overarching point is that there are some things that are worth asking strangers about and some that are not. None of us know OP’s significant other, so we have no idea what the intention behind his comments was. Instead of potentially being mislead by people who don’t know her boyfriend, she should just talk to him.
Post # 19
Goodness, who on earth are you popping in to call pps ‘catty girls’ and ‘jealous ‘ etc ! So silly. I guess your school is closed is it ?
And as for these boards being ‘fun’, clearly you have not been to any of the serious threads. Do grow up.
Post # 20
Boy is, or was, a nickname posh English types used . Think Bridehead Revisited etc Perhaps OP’s boyfriend is one of these .
Post # 21
- Wedding: September 2021 - Australia
good point… Coco Chanel’s lover and sponsor was also called Boy as a nickname.
Post # 22
I don’t take relationship advice from anyone who is a fan of Harley Quinn. Just on principal.
Post # 23
It sounds like he most definitely wants to marry you and pop the question one day, but be careful in assuming things and waiting around. He could propose soon and he could also mean years from now? I made this mistake. My boyfriend casually walked me by a diamond jewelry store and asked me if I’d want to be surprised or pick out my own ring. I told him I’d be happy with any ring he picked out. Then he proceded to ask me about my style. I took this to mean he was going to propose soon. Then nothing happened for 6 months until I brought it up again. Turns out the reason he did that was to gauge my reaction about getting proposed to, but he didn’t mean right then and there. Fast forward to present day (1 and 1/2 years later) I picked out my ring and he bought it several weeks ago. It’s in my closet and he’s proposing any time now! So, I’m a good example of being with a man who has every intention of marrying but just because he’s talking about engagement stuff doesn’t mean it’s happening right now, but in the near future. It’s also possible to have different defintions of what “soon” means. To one person that could mean a few weeks, to another it could mean 6 months. This is why it’s sooo important to have clarity. Just say “hey, the other day you were kidding around about proposing. Just so you know, I would love that! In my perfect world we would be engaged within XXX months. What about you?” Then you’ll know what to expect.
Post # 24
100% agree. My boyfriend would casually bring it up a lot before we started to have serious talks about marrying each other. One good thing to tell men who want the surprise thing is “While I want the actual proposal to be a surprise, I don’t want our engagement to be”.
Post # 25
Thank you, I love all the little things I learn on WB.
Post # 26
Yes, this! It sounds like the bf is at least considering it in the long term, it’s just that his comment could just could mean a million things. I would be happy about the direction your relationship is going, but I wouldn’t make assumptions based on an offhand comment. Only way to get a better idea is to talk about it.
Post # 27
I would say usually guys are good at giving surprises so don’t think too much about it, He will definitely surprise you when he find the right moment.
Post # 28
When my husband and I started talking about marriage at about 8 months of dating, I told him what I absolutely did not want in a proposal (a public proposal, asking for my parent’s permission/blessing) and we started talking about rings and timelines. If you have a timeline in mind, considering you’re both 33 and want to have kids, might be worth bringing it up again and letting him know your thoughts, as one half of the relationship. Or at least confirming that this is something you also want, if you didn’t do that already. Unless you prefer to be surprised and are fine with waiting for him to make that decision…
Post # 29
People on here are not being negative, just realistic. In my ecperience actions speak louder then words. My husband never did hints, he just proposed. My ex on the other hand did a cutesy napkin ring with no intention of a proposal or marriage (stilll not married or engaged 5 years later). I would discuss this with him and see where he is at. In order to not be disppointed follow his actions. Way too many people (including me) have fallen for sweet words and gotten hurt.
Post # 30
Wow, some of you really know how to take the wind out of a girl’s sails. I was asking if this is a thing guy’s actually talk about with their friends because in my experience, it isn’t. I tried to have multiple conversations with my ex and he always gave me passive “yeah, in the future it would be cool…” shut down comments no matter what I was talking about, and all my friends (male and female alike) have told me that guys just don’t think about things like that, so I guess I believed it. My ex fucked up a lot of notions I had about men before he finally admitted he never wanted marriage or kids, with me or in general.
We have talked about timelines for children, and I told him I wanted to be married before we started having kids together. My masters MUST be done before children, and that gives us a year and a half minimum. We haven’t talked about timelines in specifics because as some of you pointed out, we have been together for 9 months, I’m enjoying the new-ness of living together with him, and I didn’t want to push something too fast. However, I know his family has a history of quick relationships, like his brother was dating a girl for about a year before they bought a house and got pregnant. They just had their daughter in May and he adores her and wants her to have cousins a similar age. I think he is ready and I’m the one saying sloooow dowwwwn.
I don’t feel like he is stringing me along, hinting at a ring that is never coming. I also don’t feel like he knows how to start the conversation, because it’s hard! And yeah, I called him Boy on the forum because using his name would be weird, but also saying “my boyfriend” felt out of place. Seems like a strange thing for you all to get hung up on /shrug