(Closed) Was I being rude?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

i would chose a different style of dress (one more flexible in terms of figures) or ask grandma not to make them and just have them buy them in spring

Post # 4
Member
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

I think it would be least stressful to go the store bought route, as you said “They can have kids whenever they want, it’s their choice.”

Post # 6
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I thought all Bridesmaids bought their own dresses? I dont think its rude at all… And to be honest I had the SAME exact problem with my sister! lol I’ll admit I threw a hissy fit (In private – not in front of her) becuase she wanted to get pregnant and have her baby a MONTH before my wedding and she’s Maid/Matron of Honor. I wasnt too happy about it but it turns out that it wasnt in the cards for her to get pregnant in that time frame so she might be pregnant, might not be during the wedding. But we will be choosing dresses that will be flattering for all body types and situations just in case.

Post # 7
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

im in a bridal party and we all paid for our own bridesmaids dresses, i think its normal and perfectly fine.

talk to them? explain why you think this is a better route to go because you don’t have money so your grandma was willing to help out but it would be too difficult for her given these conditions.

 

Post # 9
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I have never been in a bridal party where i didn’t buy my own dress, as well as pay for showers (as part of the bridal party), at least part of my hair cost, make-up, etc.  Point being, I think it is a pretty common understanding that when you agree to be in a bridal party there will be additional costs such as a dress.  I definitely don’t think you’re being rude asking them to pay for their dresses.  However, I would keep in mind the price you ask.  Over $150ish to me is a little high for something I’ll wear once as a bridesmaid.

ETA: I have 3 girls who have gotten pregnant (7 months, 4 months, 4 months) after they bought their dresses back in December.  Luckily they all still fit!  There are styles that will work. 🙂

Post # 10
Member
13014 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t think it’s rude to ask them to pay for the dress, but if they weren’t expecting to, they may not have budgeted for it.  I do, however, think it’s rude to even hint that their attempts to get pregnant may inconvenience the dresses for your wedding.  I apologize if I’ve read too much into that, but that’s what I inferred. 

Post # 11
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I think you provided a perfectly reasonable solution.

It is their decision to TTC, and that shouldn’t cause undue stress on your grandmother. I don’t think it is outrageous to ask them to buy their own dresses if you are unable to come up with an option that can be made and suit all body types.

Best of luck!

Post # 13
Member
6743 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@MadTownGirl:  +1

Definitely not rude to ask them to buy their own dresses.

My only question is – how long does it take to make the dresses?  Your wedding isn’t until the end of July, I would just wait as long as possible to see if they get pregnant.  You don’t even know for the first 3 months anyway, so I think looking to get them started around March/April is a better option. 

I understand it might be stressful to your grandmother, so maybe hire another seamstress to help out?  And ask your girls to split that cost with you.  I bet that would be a lot cheaper.

Although, if your sister offered to make 2 of the dresses, I don’t see what the problem they have with that solution since it’s not even your solution, it’s your sister’s?  Perhaps I’m misunderstanding something. 

Post # 15
Member
986 posts
Busy bee

I don’t think it’s rude to ask them to purchase their dresses. And I think you’ve been really reasonable, IMO, because you specifically stated in your initial post that their TTC plans are their choice, the world doesn’t revolve around your wedding, etc. I think most BMs expect to buy dresses, so it shouldn’t be a huge issue. Good luck!!

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