- 6 years ago
- Wedding: February 2012
Last night Darling Husband told me about a conversation he had with a friend at work:
Friend: Beth called. She wants her job back. I told her to call the manager, not me.
Darling Husband: She likes you; she wants to be around you.
Friend: Uh uh! No! You can have her
Darling Husband: I can’t. I’m married. But you still can.
I wasn’t mad but I told him I didn’t really like his response because to me, the wording makes it sound like “I want to and I would, but I’m already shackled down”. I said to me, there’s a difference, in a conversation like that, between the words “I can’t” and “I don’t want to.” My husband speaks English as a second language so I just used the situation as an example to explain, because I know he didn’t quite understand the difference.
That was last night and now I’m wondering if I should have said anything at all. They were just joking and I know Darling Husband didn’t mean it the way it sounded to my ears, and his friend probably knew what he really meant as well. I’m starting to think that moment was me pulling in baggage from my last relationship – I think I relived being that humiliated girlfriend who’s partner is talking about other women he knows behind her back; people secretly wondered why I was being so stupid, weak, etc, and staying with someone like that.
Like I said, it wasn’t a fight and our discussion probably lasted less than a minute. Darling Husband probably thinks nothing of it but I’m still questioning myself on whether my response was appropriate.