- 5 years ago
Recently, I had to confront a friend about her negativity and heartlessness and end our long friendship. Was I right in doing this? Or should I give her a second chance?
Here’s the story.. I got engaged a few months ago and have been so very content and happy and excited. Many of my close friends have been SO supportive and kind and have stated how they wished they had someone like my fiance and they would love to have what we have. My engaged friends are so fantastic as well. I have really felt the love from everyone! Even classmates have stated how amazing our story is and how it is truly meant to be. (Corny, I know. I’ll stop here! I never brag about my fiance in real life so I guess I wanted to brag here for once!)
However, I have a longterm friend (Friend A) that has been very negative and pessimistic about the engagement and my fiance. She has said that “She personally would have said no because he did not ask my father, did not take a photo during the proposal, did not ask at dinner time, did not ask my friends for advice about a ring, proposed too soon (we were together a year and a month before he proposed), was on a bike ride instead of a fancy dinner, did not have a ring, wanted me to pick my own ring, did not make sure I had my nails done, did not make sure I was properly attired.” Etc etc etc. (Keep in mind, my fiance proposed in the mountains overlooking a lake, on a lovely romantic trip that was at the exact same spot our first ever trip was on. He completely surprised me while we were taking photos overlooking the lake, and I was so shocked I said “Yeah! Of course! Yes” and jumped on him. He even had remembered that I definitely wanted to pick out my own ring).
She also has said many rude things about my fiance. My fiance is very successful, graduated from a fantastic university, is kind, a true gentleman, supportive, funny, so well mannered, and just absolutely my Prince Charming in every way possible. I have never felt so truly and deeply loved in my entire life. For awhile, I tried to break up with him almost weekly (sometimes daily) because I was not used to being treated so well.
Recently though, I have had another friend tell me to cut my friend A some slack and just stick it out until she breaks up with her current boyfriend. Friend A has been having major jealousy issues because her 9 month relationship has always had so many problems. Totally creepy guy, has made disgusting comments to me, is very clingy, has many many many many problems. Friend A has been in back to back relationships since I have known her. She has stated many times she would rather be with someone she is kinda “ok” about than be single.
Friend A says she is happy, but has been belitting everyone else’s happy relationship and touting her new boyfriend as the best guy ever. She has said outright that my fiance is not handsome at all, (my fiance is quite literally, a twin of Tom Welling. Many people stop us on the street! He is over 6’5, and my tall dark and handsome Prince charming). Also that he is too muscular and too tall, and too “nice.”
I feel as if I cannot forgive someone for making these comments about my fiance and his proposal. I feel sick to my stomach when she repeatedly tries to call me. The things she said hurt me deeply. For awhile, I listened to her until I realized she did not have my best interests at heart and I had to end the friendship in person a few weeks ago. I have felt so conflicted and upset about this. Should I cut her some slack because of her own unhappy relationship and stick it out?
Edit: One bee made a really good point that I thought I should include.. I try not to talk about my fiance in real life in a gushy manner. Many friends have stated that I am the only friend they have that didn’t change at all when they got engaged. I very very rarely mention him to friends just because I am a private person and I’m not good at showing emotion.