(Closed) Was I rude to not give a gift?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5797 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would have said “nope” and smiled, but Im mean 😉

You don’t fix it, she is being rude.

Post # 4
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I guess since you were invited to the in-town reception it would be considered reasonable to ‘expect’ a gift from you, but you shouldn’t have felt obligated and she absolutely should not have said that to you. 

Post # 5
37 posts
  • Wedding: November 1999

@ScorpioBee:  Wow, she was the rude one, not you. Be happy you didn’t give a gift – she doesn’t deserve it.

Post # 6
14657 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Nope, I think it’s fine.  She was rude to say that!  I would have turned to her and said, oh did you have a real registry where you werent just asking people for money?

Post # 7
2951 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

What a cow. Try not to let it upset up you are not wrong in my opinion.

I don’t understand these days why so many people are so greedy. 

Post # 8
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

That is very rude! There is no way you should have given her a gift (and you should be glad now that you know what kind of a person she really is)

Post # 9
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Absolutely rude on her behalf!! Agree with @LGenz: , I would have said “no, I didn’t!!” How ruuuude! 

Post # 10
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

Ummm, SHE’S being the rude one for calling out publicly who she did and did not receive gifts from. That’s really no one’s business besides yours and hers. And whatever. It’s your CHOICE not to give a gift. I wouldn’t have wanted to gift money either and depending on how close I am to the couple, if I don’t attend any part of the wedding or reception I may not send a gift either. WHATEVER. People are such bitches.

Post # 11
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

You didn’t do anything wrong.  She’s greedy and rude.  

Post # 12
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

WOW. Somebody is going to Etiquette Hell. (Seriously, you should submit her.)

You did absolutely nothing wrong. If you don’t attend a wedding, you needn’t give a gift. (Otherwise, don’t you think the “Gimme Pigs” would send out a LOT more invitations?) It’s always a nice thing to do, but if you aren’t close to her she DEFINITELY shouldn’t have expected it, and she is acting like a four-year-old.

That’s way out of line. How can she know your exact financial situation? Just because you make about the same amount doesn’t mean you aren’t supporting aging parents, paying hefty student loans, or paying off expensive medical treatments for you or your SO. What if you just don’t like giving your credit card info over the Internet, or simply forgot? Since you have a year to give a gift by some sets of rules, how does she know you weren’t planning to get her something–or that you haven’t already, and are just waiting for a convenient time to drop it off? Sheesh. Where are all these rude-ass people coming from?

Post # 13
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Wow, I am floored by this incredibly rude woman! The nerve! Yeah agree, you are so much better off that you didn’t give her a gift.

Post # 14
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

no, she is being extremely rude


Post # 15
4 posts
  • Wedding: October 2013

What she said was totally rude! I don’t think it was wrong at all not to give her a gift. I wouldn’t have either if I couldn’t attend her dinner or the wedding. And I don’t think I would be upset with people if they didn’t give me a gift for my wedding either.


Post # 16
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

wow!! that is so rude!!!!

anyone who is invited to the reception is “expected” to give a gift… at least that’s what i’ve heard. however, i’m definitely not planning on receiving gifts from people who aren’t coming.

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