(Closed) Was I wrong? The problem with being 'refreshingly honest' with people.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
346 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I think what made her approach so annoying is like “a spot opened up” like you were anxiously awaiting that spot from her. I don’t like the idea of the B list but making people aware they are on the B list is just rude. 

Your response was rude but oh well, can’t change it now. Either she will get over it or it sounds like you won’t be too disappointed if she doesn’t. 

Post # 33
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would never talk to a friend that way.  I think you should apologize to her.  200 people is not really an outrageously sized wedding. 

Post # 34
Member
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Lmao your response was great! I think anyone with a good sense of humor could get over it if you just talK to them. Why not call her back and see if she will talk to you. Just tell her that you were offended by her informing you that you were on her b-list and were taken aback when she called you so you accidently snapped

Post # 35
Member
777 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Your response was hilarious, but in a relationship-ending kind of way.

Part of being a friend is not responding in kind when someone’s an asshole. If you take an eye for an eye approach to friendships, how can you expect people to overlook your foibles?

Post # 36
Member
8035 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Ruby-Redshoes:  LOL *high five*

Seriously though, I always get a pang of guilt when I say something bitchy (even if they deserve it)… I’d just let it be and maybe she learned a lesson.

 

Post # 37
Member
8434 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Ruby-Redshoes:  I totally LOL’d at your response to the bride.  If she’s gonna have a B-list, she needs to prepare herself for some disgruntled friends.

Post # 38
Member
3173 posts
Sugar bee

Eh, I don’t see anything wrong with what you said. Maybe it’s because I wish I had the balls to say the same to people!!!

Post # 39
Member
1623 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

View original reply
@AnnieAAA:  +1.

While I’m not a fan of B-lists either (and would never have done one for my wedding), to each their own.  I do think your response is out of line; if you were offended or didn’t want to go then you should’ve just said you apologize and can’t make it.  No need to be snarky. 

Post # 40
Member
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I had a B list and I let my friends know why, we have a huge huge family so I had to wait to see who would be coming and who would not.  Most understood and it all worked out in the end, our entire B list came.  

Post # 41
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’ll admit, I laughed. I seriously doubt I would ever be that blunt (or quick thinking) to say something like that at the time.

I think you should apologize. Despite her blunt attitude and despite my personal dislike for “B lists”, she was somewhat considerate to call you directly and tell you she was sending an invitation– how many people would just mail the invitation late and not say a word?

Post # 42
Member
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

While I would never say that (I hate confrontation), it would be what I WANTED to say. You got balls, girl!

Post # 43
Member
2836 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Ruby-Redshoes:  I applaud you for what you did.

 

I get there there might “A” lists and “B” lists- I woudln’t do that- I’d either make it an “everyone who I truly want there wedding” if I could afford it, or else a strictly “closest friends and family”– my friend B explained it best, when a groupd of younger girls at the place we used to work complained when they realized they weren’t invited to Fiance + I’s wedding:  invite your closest friends and family- the people who you see being in you life in 10 years.  I thought this was great advice- unless money/budget is not an object and you can afford to invite everyone and their mom.

 

For someone to actually mention, tell or imply that you were on thier B list- fucking bitchy, pardon my language.  But absolute fucking bitchy.  I’d rather hear a “we’re only inviting closest friends and family” than hear I am on a B list- no joke.  If you are making me a second on your list, I will make your wedding not on my list at all.

 

Maybe I’m being brash- (I did just tell Fiance last night that I’m realy tired of people lately!!)- but it’s how I feel about the whole thing.  

Post # 44
Member
2093 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Ruby-Redshoes:  If she’s your true friend, you would have been invited. First time. If she’s your true friend you wouldn’t think about going. And it wouldn’t bug you. 

She isn’t your true friend. She’s a sometime friend. And at some time she’s bound to get a a taste of the honesty she so values. 

I wouldn’t expect the invite and frankly would breathe a sigh of relief. I mean really… How “nice” of her to consider you! It seems like she only cares about filling empty spots. Not your friendship. 

Post # 45
Member
3080 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Ruby-Redshoes:  I literally lol’ed at your response. It’s not terrible it’s true. I can’t believe she didn’t even bother to send you an invite though. Even if you are on the B-list you should still get a proper invitation. 

Post # 46
Member
804 posts
Busy bee

@Ruby-Redshoes: I’m definitely a direct person, and I think what you said was more agressive than direct. I don’t think she approached it well at all, but it sounds like she wasn’t being intentionally bitchy, whereas you were.

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