Post # 1
Member
42 posts
Newbee
Well bees, I am in the final few months of planning. I wanted to elope all along but my Fiance wasn’t into that idea, so we went for a pretty full-out wedding (that we are paying 80% of ourselves). I am super excited to be married and for the honeymoon, but honestly…wedding planning is not my thing. I am a “if I’m going to do it, I do it well” kind of girl, so we are not taking short cuts, but I also have an insanely busy job and I would much rather be doing other things rather than finding florists and going to Michaels for centrepiece stuff!
Just wondered how you all feel – married or not yet. Is it worth it? Or would you go back and save your money/time/aggravation and elope?
Post # 3
Member
4698 posts
Honey bee
lawyeretta: It was so worth it to us. I would do it all over again. I’m also a “if I’m going to do it, I do it well” kind of girl, to me that included not going near a single DIY project.. That saved us both so much time and headache.
Our wedding went perfectly and I wouldn’t have changed a thing. <br /><br /><br />
Post # 4
Member
4513 posts
Honey bee
For me, it was totally worth it. I love that all of my family and best friends were together for a night celebrating with us. The memories we have are so happy and wonderful, and they sustain me when I hit a low point or my husband and I argue.
That said, we were very relaxed about our wedding planning. It wasn’t a huge affair (130 people), and I did not make myself crazy trying to make every detail perfect. I didn’t do any craft projects, I didn’t sweat the small stuff, and we didn’t spend our life’s savings on it. The whole thing was affordable, relaxed, and FUN. So yes, totally worth it.
Post # 5
Member
6527 posts
Bee Keeper
lawyeretta: It was worth it but I am glad its over. Thats my answer. I had an amazing time, everything was almost perfect, because lets be honest, no wedding is really 100 % perfect. I thought I would have the wedding blues, but I didn’t. I was so happy that i had a good time and enjoyed it but I was glad to go on the honeymoon and have just Darling Husband and Me time. I can look back and smile and actually know I enjoyed every minute of my wedding
Post # 6
Hostess
11635 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
lawyeretta: don’t regret it at all. We could have done it cheaper but I wouldn’t change a thing. It was perfect.
Post # 7
Member
2445 posts
Buzzing bee
Totes worth it. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat, just to have all of our family and friends together in one place again.
Post # 8
Member
2837 posts
Sugar bee
lawyeretta: This is a tough question, and I don’t want to answer it the wrong way.
I don’t regret having our wedding- it was a fun night.
Turns out I was super bloated (PMS) on the day of our wedding- thank goodness I had a cordet dress, as my breasts gain the most- along with my face. In all of our pictures, I can tell (and anyone who knows me well) – that my face is super bloated. It makes me kinda sad.
I don’t like being the center of attention- but it all worked out OK. We had a very short ceremony. The night just goes by SO fast. It’s literally sort of blur- always has been.
I feel like we had 5 minute conversations with everyone- such a different way to socialize that you normally would. I didn’t get a good chance to eat, either.
So while I don’t regret it– I’d probably elope (but still do it in a tux and wedding dress)- and spend the money we spent on the wedding on a vaca. We didn’t take a honeymoon- we paid for the wedding ourselves, and just didn’t want to spread ourselves too thin with a vaca.
Post # 9
Member
6218 posts
Bee Keeper
I was exactly the same way! Originally wanted to elope, but he didn’t so I did a complete 180 and decided to “go big or go home” and planned my dream wedding (not that it was huge in terms of guest count, but that I had a very specific vision in mind). It was exactly a month ago and it was all totally worth it. It was the best day ever and honestly at the last dance I finally just lost it and started crying in my new husband’s arms because I had literally never been so happy or had so much fun. Did things go wrong? You betcha, but at the end of the day I have a really hilarious picture of my mom stepping on my cathedral veil and no one else knew that the bridemaids’ bouquets were wrong. It really is the same formula as any other party, awesome people, good food, and fun entertainment is all you need – if you’re worried about the cost focus on those things and forget about wasting money on favors and flowers. I also had amazing vendors that were worth every penny!
Post # 10
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
lawyeretta: If I could go back I would elope. My Fiance suggested it when we first got engaged and I shot it down because I wanted the whole ‘bridal experience’. What I didn’t want was ALL of the family drama that comes along with it.
I’m at the point where I don’t care about the wedding anymore, I’m looking forward to the marriage, being married to my love. That’s where he always was, I just wish I wasn’t so involved in the ‘party’ portion at the start, now it’s too late. I know we’ll have a beautiful wedding, it’ll be a great happy day. But, I wish we would have avoided the drama and the cost and just went on an awesome trip somewhere. The grass is always greener on the other side though, so who knows! 🙂
Post # 11
Member
1477 posts
Bumble bee
lawyeretta: I’m only a few days out so I’m not sure how valuable my perspective is. But as of right now, I have absolutely no regrets. It was an incredible night spent with all of my favourite people in the entire world. If I went back in time, I would absolutely do it again.
My advice is to only spend where you want to spend, and don’t let yourself get talked into anything. You don’t “have” to have anything, despite what people will try to tell you (whether it’s flowers/cake/bridesmaids/DJ/open bar/whatever). Decide what your priorities are and focus on those, and I think you will have a day that you won’t regret.
Post # 12
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
Several times during planning all I wanted to do was run away and just marry my DH!
But as it turns out, the day was incredible and so much fun. I wouldn’t ever elect to go back through all the planning though. As we had it at a ‘bare’ venue (i.e. not a hotel/country club etc. which seem to run easier as they have coordinators/catering on site etc) it was hard work to make sure we had everything we needed.
The day itself was absolutely perfect though. So on balance, I don’t think I would change it.
Post # 13
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
I thought about eloping the entire time I was wedding planning, and now that I’ve had my wedding I can say I am so glad I did. Is it worth the cost- that is a bit hard to answer. However, it is the only time in your life when you will have that specific group of people (both of your family and friends) all together at the same time, and that is a really special thing. It was so incredibly fun, and really a once in a lifetime experience I’m glad I got to experience.
Post # 14
Member
3276 posts
Sugar bee
I would do it over and over every year if I could! I wouldn’t trade that day for $100,000! It was the first time I’ve had all my mom and dad’s distant families and DH’s families in one place plus all of our friends! It really is a once in a lifetime occasion!
Post # 15
Member
1884 posts
Buzzing bee
lawyeretta: I don’t regret it.
For me alone – honestly, I would have been happy eloping. Courthouse, nice dinner, done. That’s what I would have done if I only considered what *I* wanted.
However – my now-husband and our respective parents wanted a wedding, so I agreed, because I love them. And seeing my husband and my parents just radiate joy and emotion all day long, and having beautiful pictures to document precious time spent with my overseas/long distance family that we adore but don’t see very often is just priceless to me.
I am really glad I am done with planning. 2 months later, people keep asking me if I have the post-wedding blues – um NOPE, I am incredibly happy and I am relieved to be done with vendors and planning and spending money. I just get to enjoy being married to my amazing husband and continue living my life.
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