Post # 1
I am always asked “was it planned?”
I mean — seriously? by non-close friends, too? — it’s not really anyone else’s business, and any answers are immediately lead to even more questions about our sex life and birth control choices (even less of other people’s business).
Does anyone have a good reply, non-rude reply, that cuts short the questioning? Or maybe I am the only one uncomfortable by these conversations … Should I just say “yes,” even if that is not exactly true?
Post # 3
Our daughter was not planned and I have only been asked a couple times if she was (mmost people feel safe asuming) and I always say “no, but we love her and wouldn’t change a thing =)”
Post # 5
I’d say “You can plan these things???”
Post # 6
Sorry…that is kind of rude…but I tend to be rude when people ask me things like that!
Post # 7
I would just say yes. It’s easier.
Post # 8
I would answer a question with a question…”why do you want to know?” works. But I also love “were you?” LOL!
Post # 9
@kate169: Hahaha, love that response!
Post # 10
thanks everyone! these are very useful!
hey, if “was it planned” isn’t considered rude … I’m not sure why “were you?” would be!
I’m going to use SoontobeMrsA’s, too! nice!
Post # 11
lol that can be a bit rude especially if it leads in to a conversation about your BC choices, etc. I’ve been asked. mine wasnt. I just say “nope, pleasant surprise!” 🙂
Post # 12
- Wedding: May 2018 - Our home and the two acres it sits on
I think it’s because people want to know if they should congratulate you or not. I think the rule should be that you always congratulate, but they’re trying to figure out what next. It’s awkward, I give you that, but I don’t think it’s stupidity or ignorance. It’s just (weirdly, I swear) the first thing you wonder. “Should I be excited for you?”
Post # 13
i agree, i think this is such a rude and off-putting question! i’m planning to share the news at work in the next week or so and i’m expecting at least a few weirdos to ask me this same question. the thing is, i think it’s a weird thing to answer EITHER way! we DID plan this, but it also sounds weird to be like, “yeah! (read: me and my husband were DOIN IT every day and night, here’s a visual!!!)” it’s just an awkward thing to ask all around. i plan to just say we are extremely happy and excited…and hope they can read between the lines that it’s not their bizness 🙂
Post # 15
My sister always answered, “God planned her!” Or “Someone planned her.”
Post # 16
- Wedding: September 2010 - MacLean Park
How about “seriously”? I mean, that’s such a horrible question! I’ve only been asked that once, and by a father, no less! He’s a bit dense anyway, so I shouldn’t be surprised. You could even say, “Would you like to know how often we had sex and what positions we used?” Bet that woulld shut ’em up!
But I also like the simple “yes”. They’re morons for asking it, so just avoid any further conversation and give a nice noncommital nod and grunt. Then walk away.