(Closed) Was it rude for my co worker to do this?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 46
Member
1338 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m curious, would you feel it more or less rude if the coworker just stared at you like you had three heads when you told her that you’d be taking her to church instead of not answering her phone?  Because I’m certain that’s what I would have done in her shoes.  

I wouldn’t have been offended at your proclamation, I would have been completely dumbfounded and at a loss for words.

I gotta admit, that was a BOLD move on your part!  What confidence!

Post # 47
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

How inappropriate to intrude on what is a matter of your co-worker’s private conscience while in the workplace setting, where you co-worker has little freedom to get away from you or to tell you her authentic thoughts.

Post # 48
Member
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I agree with so many others. Drop it and maybe double think the way your “invitE” coworkers go external activities. 

Post # 49
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

Oh man this is hilarious. If a co-worker told me they were taking me to church I’d probably go straight to HR and then laugh for five hours straight.

Post # 50
Member
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

barnes66:  Okay you have some serious boundary issues with your coworkers. Maybe listen to us this time? Ignore it and don’t tell people you’re taking them to church. It’s rude and off putting.

Post # 51
Member
2690 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I do think the OP realizes her approach was totally wrong but I have to say what’s up with passive agressive people now adays. We are all adults, all she had to say was “thanks but no thanks”

Post # 52
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee

Quite honestly, if I were developing a friendship with someone and they told me they were taking me to church and basically just to get over any personal issues I had with my family…that friendship would be over pretty quickly. My husband doesn’t even push his church on me and we’re married. He asks every week if I’d like to go with him. I typically say no. He says okay. And that was never asked until we were in a very solid relationship. I hate to beat a dead horse, though, you obviously have realized you were a little rude in your approach.  I would like to suggest, though, that if you’d like to keep developing the friendship that you approach her and just say something like ‘I’m really sorry if I offended you with my suggestion of church, it wasn’t my intent to make you feel uncomfortable’. And that might help the relationship. Or at least, it would if it were me in this situation. 🙂

Post # 54
Member
9089 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

It’s rude because you TOLD her you were taking her to church. You didn’t ask her. It is rude for her to ignore you, but she may not be a believer or believe differently. Don’t assume you have the right or the reason to just tell someone that they are going to your church on Sunday. 

Post # 55
Member
3586 posts
Sugar bee

barnes66:  if someone told me they were taking me to church i would just laugh. Religion is a touchy subject. I still wouldn’t make a big deal about it. Yes she should have just said no but you shouldn’t have just said you were taking her. She may not be ready to let go of her issues in the past and certainly not ready to go to church and seek help.

Post # 56
Member
1338 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

barnes66:  An invitation isn’t rude.  But you didn’t give her an invitation.

Post # 57
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

barnes66:  Why are you trying to make her go to church with you??

Post # 58
Member
2733 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I think her laughing initially and then tell you she had work should have told you she didn’t want to go. I think you need to try harder to pick up on social cues from your coworkers. You seem to misinterpret their interactions often.

Post # 59
Member
1039 posts
Bumble bee

barnes66:  If you aren’t good enough friends to hang outside work, you aren’t close enough to tell her that you will be bringing her anywhere. Especially to a religious organization. You didn’t invite her, you demanded it of her. Two completely different things. 

She probably made light of it because you guys WORK TOGETHER and didn’t want to make it awkward. 

Post # 60
Member
2013 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

barnes66:  She clearly did not want to go to church with you. Even after she made this obvious, using social cues that the majority of the population would have picked up on fairly quickly, you kept pressing the issue. Not everyone likes church. I would have laughed at you, too.

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