(Closed) Was it wrong to decline this invite…?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Yes I do think it was rude to be invited that way. Even if they were apart of the second string invites they should have received an invitation.

Post # 4
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Ryansgirl: Do your mom and sister live with you?

The only way that I’d even think the invite included them as well would be if we lived together.

Otherwise your mom and sister should have each gotten their own invites.

Post # 5
Member
1446 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My guess is the bride just didn’t know. It sounds like she did invite them originally, just not in the most appropriate way. I don’t think there is a right or wrong choice for your mom and sister. The bride wouldn’t have clarified to you to make sure your mom and sister were invitied if she didn’t want them there-maybe she realized the vagueness of the invite after she sent it.

Post # 7
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Ryansgirl: I just think it’s especially wierd that the invite came to you and was supposed to include your mom.

Usually the “and family” invites go to the oldest member (couple) of the family.

She should have sent your mom and sister separate invites.

Post # 8
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Ryansgirl:  I would have declined.  “and Family” is usually used for dependent children…or at least people who live in the same house.  How were you supposed to know what “and Family” meant?

For your Mom (your cousin’s AUNT), in particular, to be invited this way seems really really….not nice.

Post # 9
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I don’t think they were second string, but it sounds like she just didn’t know.

I made enough goofs with my invites (and I tried REALLY hard).  The hardest was getting DH’s side right – no matter how many times I asked him for names (and my Mother-In-Law for names, etc) – we still got stuff (and spelling) wrong.  ugh!

Post # 10
Member
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Okay, technically it’s not proper etiquette and it’s a bit odd.   On the other hand, in our family there were two weddings where invitations were running a bit thin there were some family ones sent that were encompassing beyond the household and an apologetic phone call.  I’d say in a case like that, do as you feel comfortable and put it down to sometimes family gets less than ideal handling.

Post # 13
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Everyone is right on point, not wrong to decline, kind of weird to use “and family” to mean your mom & sister.

Also I wanted to use this as a soap box for why you should put the names of the people you’re including in the invitation instead of “and family”!

If the invitation has said:

Ryan & Ryangirl

Mom & sister

address stuff

You wouldn’t have been so confused. Brides! take note 🙂

Post # 14
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee

If I received that invitation I would have never thought it included my mom and sister. 

If they were only going to send one invitation for all of you I would have expected it to go to your mom and be addressed to everyone.

Post # 15
Member
1733 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

my uncle sent an invite to his second wedding to my mom and then called her to let her know it was extended to my brother sister and I.  I think this is acceptable but to send it to you and include your mom is a little odd.

Post # 16
Member
2031 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I actually ran into a similar situation with my wedding…I wanted to invite my aunt and uncle and their 3 daughters (who were all married).  I sent one big invitation and called my Aunt to explain that I didn’t have their adresses and didn’t want to risk them getting their invites too late to make and I hoped she understood.  This was before FB and texting, and I had no other way to get the invites to them!  I think it’s a little odd (she should have called immediately) but it’s possible she just didn’t have the info and was afraid your mom and sister wouldn’t get their invites in time and feel bad?

The topic ‘Was it wrong to decline this invite…?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors