(Closed) Was MIL rude or am I being too sensitive?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

It wouldn’t bother me. I enjoy cooking and wouldn’t mind spending a free day in the kitchen. I’m also not going to judge what other people make. Who cares if the sauce wasn’t homemade? And yeah a homemade dessert would have been better but I don’t know I guess I just wouldn’t be offended by it.

Post # 3
Member
462 posts
Helper bee

Overreaction. 

Post # 4
Member
1127 posts
Bumble bee

Sorry : / I think you’re being overly sensitive.  Maybe cooking isn’t her jam or she got caught up.  Honestly I think it’s kind of nice that she clearly likes your cooking 

Post # 5
Member
47414 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I wouldn’t call it rude but I would think she was lazy and that she did take advantage of you. If she was going to make such specific requests of you, then she should have produced something on par with those requests.

I would consider it a lesson learned for future potlucks.

Post # 6
Member
4498 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t think this is a hill to die on. :/

She was a little lazy for sure, but that would have just been a fleeting thought. 

Post # 7
Member
9071 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I love cooking so I’d do it even if people were bringing storebought.

Shit happens, maybe they didn’t feel like cooking or was just having an off day.

Post # 8
Member
1823 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

Agree that it’s rude but not worth getting hung up on. Maybe she had other plans but then wasn’t able to do them for whatever reason and has to go with a simpler option. Maybe she just didn’t have time. 

Post # 9
Member
3807 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I would be confused about her inviting me over and then hardly making an effort. Not a very good host. 

Post # 10
Member
662 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Well… she ask IF you could do the champignons and Suggested pie for dessert. You can say no if you don’t want to. You said no problem so I dont know why it’s become a problem now. And yes maybe she has something come out, at least she still serve something.. rude? Nah. Bit dissapointed maybe, but then move on.

Post # 11
Member
1240 posts
Bumble bee

I agree it’s not a good showing on her part. If you’re concerned about not putting in more effort than she does, maybe ask what she plans on making before you agree to slave away in the kitchen for hours? 

Post # 12
Member
739 posts
Busy bee

I wouldn’t call it rude, a bit lazy maybe.  But in your most you mention that you know your Mother-In-Law doesn’t like cooking so i’m not sure why you’re upset. 

At the end of the day you spent 5 hours in the kitchen because you wanted to, it was a choice you made and you can’t now be annoyed because Mother-In-Law spent less time on her contribution. 

Post # 13
Member
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Get your husband to sort it next time…

Post # 14
Member
1644 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

Actually, I’d just wonder how my Mother-In-Law was. You said you’ve had great meals there in the past- perhaps she wasn’t feeling well, had a bad week, etc. I don’t think I’d feel taken advantage of or disappointed- you all still celebrated as a family- I’d just be wondering if everything was ok.

Post # 15
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I think if this were to occur again it’d be less disappointing if you asked what else was being served first.
Honestly for 3 people it sounds like a sufficient amount of food.

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