(Closed) Was my boyfriend a jerk or am I just expecting too much?

posted 7 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 32
1882 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@jubial  He was sexting other girls?! Dealbreaker.

Long distance relationships only work when both people are dedicated to maintaining the connection. He wasn’t. You are not stupid – when you love someone, you want to trust them and give them the benefit of the doubt. He, unfortunately, wasn’t worth that effort, because his words did not match his actions. It’s cliche but actions always speak louder than words.

The good news is, you’re young, you’re free, and you will find someone else – someone better. 🙂




Post # 33
9806 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

WHY were you with this guy?!?!

You’re not stupid, it’s hard to see clearly when you’re in the middle of something like that.  But you defnitely made the best choice!  If you didn’t say he was 30 I would have guessed he was about 21.  He’s not a responsible, mature adult so how could you have a mature relationship with him?

Don’t ever talk to him again!

Post # 34
1040 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@jubial  Whaaa?  Are you seriously questioning yourself?  You deserve much better treatment than that.

Move on from him, and fnd someone who values you for more that what YOU can do for HIM.

Post # 36
982 posts
Busy bee

@jubial  You did the right thing by breaking up with him. He was not as committed to you as you were to him. It sounds like he was distancing himself so that you would be the one to get sick of his behaviour and end things.

Post # 37
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

he obviously wasnt worth your time and checked out of the relationship a long time ago, and it seems like he just wanted to be single.

Post # 38
6739 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

That guy is a huge loser. You should have been gone a year ago when he was cheating on you with all those girls (yes, that’s totally cheating). What a scumbag AND a loser. He has NOTHING positive about him. You made the right choice, trust me.

Post # 39
75 posts
Worker bee

You absolutely did the right thing leaving this guy – you deserve waaay better than this.


Post # 40
4687 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

Holy shit. Run.

Post # 41
2542 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

He was a jerk, for sure.

Post # 42
1366 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You weren’t getting anything out of that relationship!  Your expectations weren’t out of whack at all.

Post # 43
9950 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

You weren’t stupid… you aren’t stupid.

I have but one Question for you tho…

WHY do you figure that this is all you are worth in what should be the MOST LOVING relationship in your life ?

In truth a man is at his BEST when he is pursuing a woman, or head over heels in LOVE…

Clearly that time has past in this relationship, as he now is paying you little to no attention, and doing things that upset you

You obviously are not happy… and if you marry him, it will be years & decades of more of this.

The time has come to move on… he is taking you & Your Love for granted.  You DESERVE MORE… You can do much much BETTER than this guy.

I suggest that you pick up the following books and read them so you can gain more self confidence in love, and understand more fully how men think about women & relationships:

Greg Behrendt of Sex In The City fame has 2 excellent books:

It’s Called a Break Up Because It’s Broken, and

He’s Just Not That Into You

Dr Phil’s – Love Smart ~ Find The One You Want – Fix the one you got

And 2 Books by Steve Harvey:

Act Like a Lady – Think Like a Man, and

Straight Talk, No Chaser

These books all written by men because they got tired of watching women they liked fall for Losers… and get trapped in a vicious circle, giving up their power and happiness to men who didn’t deserve them.

You are an AMAZING WOMAN… time to realize that… and take back your power.

YOU CAN DO IT… start today.


Post # 44
1988 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t normally like being very blunt. But OP, in this case it seems He is not that into you. Which, judging by what you wrote, is an awesome thing as you could do a lot better. You probably want a man. And this male is certainly acting more like a teenager than a man. 

I am also in a long distance relationship. Sort of, most of time together but sometunes we have to be separated for months due to work and visa issues. I know perfectly well long distance is hard. Which takes me to tell you this. This is something you do for a relationship and a man that is worth it. Not for this type of guy.

Good luck. And next time, you don’t make a man block the women on FB, you dump his ass and then block him out of your life!

Post # 45
1863 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@jubial  I have not read the other replies. Being in a long distance relationship, also for three years, my fiancé treats me NOTHING like what I just read. Why the heck are you staying with a guy that you have caught cheating on multiple occasions?? Communication and trust are the number one most important factors in a relationship, ESPECIALLY a long distance one. You do not have either. He clearly does not put you first. He isn’t interested in your day or saving up for visits. I personally wouldn’t even think that he has been faithful for the entirety of these three years because of what you wrote… 

I’d rather be single than dating this guy. To answer your last question, yes, you are being foolish. 

Post # 46
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@jubial  I’m pretty sure you were dating my ex!  jk haha.  This guy was a loser and you are soooo much better off without him.  You’re not overreacting – if anything you were extremely patient and forgiving.  All of that facebook/casual encounter crap is bull and I hope you never settle for that ever again.

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