(Closed) Was my sister taken advantage of?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Did he pay any rent or contribute to living expenses while living there? 

Post # 4
Member
840 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I am not sure if she was taken advantage of, but most likely she was. If he was literally using her as a place to stay and for sex, then yes, she definitely was. Either way, it’s definitely not a healthy relationship for her to be in. You should talk to her about it, and possibly try to convince her to come clean with your parents about the situation (this should take care of them liking him pretty quickly). In the end it’s her decision, but you will know you’ve done all you can to try to help her.

 

Post # 7
Member
2747 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

I really dont have enough details to make a decision on if she was taken advantage of that depends on if he was helping monitarily or not.

However age difference of 10 years isnt that huge in the grand sceme of things. At her age it is a big gap but its not unheard of. I’m 32 my husband is 42.

Post # 8
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@mrshoneybee:  This sounds fishy to me…

The whole sex addcition and ”flirty cheating” online would be enough for me to encourage her to dump his a**… 

And asking to stay the night on the first date?? Creepy…

Post # 10
Member
3555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

It sounds to me like he did take advantage of her if he wasn’t contributing financially. Personally I think I would tell your father. I don’t like keeping secrets like that from just one person in the family. It’s something my FI’s family does and it drives me nuts. 

Post # 11
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@mrshoneybee:  Yeah your dad needs to know – she got way taken advantage of, and everyone needs their parent’s support during a hard time like this, especially if she’s already dealing with mental problems.  It’ll upset him of course, but nothing is worse than the emotional disconnect when someone that close to you is kept out of the loop.  Hoping things get better for her soon:(

Post # 12
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

Your sister needs to kick his non rent paying ass out of her apartment and never talk to him again. ASAP. She needs to have both of your parents and your support to get this mooching loser out of her life.

Post # 13
Member
3417 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge

Not sure, there is too much unknown here to figure out if she was actually taken advantage of or not.  But she should still dump him, he sounds like a creep.

As for the age difference its not that big of a deal.  I’m 32 and my FI is 41.  I know of couples who are an age difference of 15 years.

Post # 14
Member
2747 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

@mrshoneybee:  The fact he’s not paying rent is the key here. If he’s being treated for addiction and doing well that isnt even the issue, nor is the age. Its that he knew she has her own issues and then moved in while not helping her monitarily while occupying her home. The age and his own issues are rather irrelevant but yes I think he is using her on some level.

Post # 16
Member
987 posts
Busy bee

@mrshoneybee:  Your poor sister! He doesn’t sound like an ideal candidate for a first relationship! It seems really suspicious that he moved himself in, and contributes nothing at all to living with her – I think that alone shows that he is taking advantage of her. He can obviously support himself before he met her, and also during this 2 weeks, so why does he think it’s acceptable for him to live there for free? It’s hard because you can’t make the decision for her, but you can guide her and support her. First relationships can be hard and you put up with a lot of crap because it’s new territory and you don’t know what’s ‘normal’ or acceptable.

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