(Closed) Was not invited to friend\'s wedding, then she stalks me on social media?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I think this is just the way that some people use social media. Sometimes, I browse the profiles of specific acquaintances, not because I am “stalking” them but because I am wondering what they are up to or trying to catch up on their life events. 

Post # 17
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I’m super confused why this is a post. She probably feels bad she couldn’t invite you for budget reasons or whatever and probably just liked a bunch of your posts cause she is thinking of you. It’s not that weird.

 I have a situation like this with an old family friend. I couldn’t invite her for budget reasons and I feel bad. I might have noticed and liked her posts a little bit more because she’s on my mind. I would NOT invite her to my wedding shower or baby shower because expecting a gift from her seems pretty shallow if I didn’t invite her and her family to my wedding. I still care about her though.

Post # 18
Member
1917 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

ive had the somewhat same situation that you have been in. 

grew up with a girl from babies all the way into middle school, our friendship become somewhat distant in high school due to the fact that we no longer attended the same school. But i still saw her and her family pretty regularly due to our parents still being very close friends. 

fast forward a few years she now lives in alabama, im still in florida. Our parents arent nearly as close friends anymore due to living in different states as well.  When i got married i obviously sent her parents and her an invite. Her and her family were a big part of my life when i was growing up, so i saw it as a nice gesture to invite them to the wedding. Her parents couldnt make it to due an emergency (i wont go into full back story, but i completely understood why they couldnt come), but she did attend my wedding, she brought a close girlfriend of hers as her plus 1 since both her parents couldnt make it. 

i didnt get to speak to her a whole lot other then a general short conversation during the reception, but i appreciated that she was there. Now she could have been there because she truly wanted to attend, or she could have been there due to the sole fact that she was came into town for the family emergency and decided that since her family made up 4 guests, and they couldnt make it, she was doing it as gesture for her parents. 

who knows. But with that if i invited someone to my wedding, i dont expect an invitation to theirs automatically just because they were at mine. 

Would i love to attend her wedding someday when that moment happens? Absolutely. But i dont expect an invitation just because she happened to attend mine. 

some people decide to have big weddings and invtie anyone they’ve crossed paths with. And some decide to have intimate family only events. Im definitely not going to judge someone off a wedding invite unless they are my best friend of some form. 

Post # 19
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
yellowbee33 :  The reason this is bothering you is because you’re a genuine person.  Please do not listen to anyone saying that you are the one with a problem.  Sincerity and earnestness is something to be proud of, not shamed for.

There is something very icky about a former close friend not inviting you to her wedding and then liking all your posts on Facebook.  It’s “icky” (sorry, I can’t think of a better word) because you were once so close, and it was awkward enough for her brother to be uncomfortable with you not being invited to her wedding.  

Not inviting you in and of itself of isn’t icky.  (Maybe she doesn’t want you in her life and that is her prerogative.)  What’s icky is that that she didn’t have the decency to at least leave you alone.  She gets to relegate you to some superficial Facebook friendship so that she can feel better about herself.  You, on the other hand, get to be a total “drama queen” if it upsets you to be treated in this manner.  Yuck.

 

Post # 20
Member
744 posts
Busy bee

The social media posts/following seem coincidental. I wouldn’t really give any of this further thought.

Post # 21
Member
678 posts
Busy bee

Maybe she was pregnant before the wedding, so it was a rush job?

Post # 22
Member
4499 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Her brother probably told her the story afterwards, so she checked up to see how you’re doing.

Post # 23
Member
1354 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2027

View original reply
yellowbee33 :  “I chose not to pursue a reconnection; I swallowed my hurt and decide to go on and live my life.”

Continue with this!

Post # 24
Member
490 posts
Helper bee

block her  on all forms of social media. she sounds unbalanced.

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