(Closed) Was that rude?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll:
  • Post # 3
    Member
    9631 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    did it say on the invite ‘FI and guest/your name’? or did it just leave the spot where you write the number of people attending blank, if the second them saying you weren’t invited is not rude, if the first it is rude

    Post # 4
    Member
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Was the invitation addressed to your boyfriend, or “your boyfriend and guest?”  If it was only addressed to your boyfriend, I’m afraid you were being rude by presuming it was ok to invite yourself by RSVP-ing for “2.”  The couple was probably waiting for the rest of their invites to see if they could make room for you, but it sounds like they couldn’t.  If it was addressed to your boyfriend + guest, that is rude.  Really rude. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    713 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012 - Watch tower lodge, Black hawk state Park Rock Island, IL

    rude! if there was a specific place on the RSVP card to allow for a plus one then they should have accounted for and planned for that..to later decide to tell ppl oh well so and so cant come is just rude.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1927 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Maybe the couple just can’t afford to invite guests of guests. If your name or “and guest” was on the invite they they are way out of line for uninviting you. But if you weren’t on the invite but you still invited yourself then the bride and groom are not being ride. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    1586 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Rude. If they didn’t want to include you, they shouldn’t have given him the +1 option. If you’re in a committed relationship, it is really poor etiquette to not invite the full couple.

    Post # 8
    Member
    10288 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    For me personally, I think it’s rude to exclude the SO’s of invited guests when they’re in a long term, committed relationship (this means been together for years and/or living together, engaged or married). Do you guys fall into any of these categories? If so then yes, I’d say it was rude of them to not include you but sometimes couples have to make cuts somewhere. I’ve attended weddings that didn’t include any SO’s that weren’t engaged or married because of space limitations. It comes down to the couples decision so if they don’t want to include you and this bothers your boyfriend then he should decline the invite. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    429 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Very rude on their part since there was asection to RSVP for a guest as well. If theyre sending out invites with a guest spot they should account for everyone bringing a guest even though that never happens you still have to allott for it. This is even ruder if you guys live together and are in serious relationship. Lots of times people limit their guests to wives/fiances/live in girlfriends because they dont want people bringing random dates but since youre on WB Im assuming you guys are pretty serious!

    Post # 10
    Member
    10288 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Also, I agree with the PP’s. If the invite wasn’t addressed to “Such and Such and guest”, it should have been assumed that he was not given a +1. Some reply cards just have a space on them for guests to fill in how many will attend when multiple people are invited. These cards are generic and are not customized for each individual guest.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1029 posts
    Bumble bee

    Something similar happened to me recently. My SO was invited to a wedding months before we met, and the only stipulation was he wasn’t allowed to bring his ex-girlfriend because the bride hated her (rightly so, haha). When he was sending back his RSVP, he texted the bride to see if I could come. She said no because there wasn’t enough room. My SO was pretty upset about it. The bride later changed her mind, and said I could come too.

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